The widespread use of the Internet has made the cases of online relationships very rampant. Given their long distance nature, some people do not see any harm that they can cause. However, the truth is that cyber relationships are also very damaging to long-term relationships, especially marriage. You should therefore be genuinely concerned whether your man is cheating online.
While some people may try to tell you that your man’s online relationships will not have any consequence, you should not take it lightly. Whether cheating takes place online or not, it will still be cheating. Is your man cheating online? How can you know for sure what’s happening?
If you feel that there are some things that your partner is doing behind your back during his online activities, you should take the time to unearth the truth. The following are some helpful steps that you should consider.
Have a look at the browser history
The web browsers usually contain long lists of the web pages visited, and this can help you to determine where your man has been online. You should give it a try although many people have become clever and delete their browsing histories so as to leave no track that can be followed.
If you find the browser history, focus on online dating sites and other places dealing with relationships. These are things that he should have a proper reason for visiting. The frequently visited sites may even be saved as bookmarks.
If he spends time online but you do not get any browser history, this in itself indicates that he is trying to hide something. You will need to dig deeper.
Check credit card statements
Although many dating sites tend to be discreet with the way they make their charges, you should not take it for granted if there are some expenses that do not seem to make sense. Although the transactions are conducted online, they will still feature even in paper credit card statements, which you should check carefully.
Check text messages, emails, and saved chat messages
While it is true that your man may try to cover his tracks by deleting most of the things he sends or receives, there are high chances that he will store some of the special ones, particularly if he already has a relationship that is dear to him. Check any saved documents whose names appear to be odd.
Before you embark on these methods, you must be ready to handle whatever you will discover, however shocking it may be.
When you find out that cyber relationships are pushing a wedge between you and your man, you can still take measures that will help you to get your ex back.
2012年8月31日星期五
Signs of a Cheating Partner - Five Things to Look Out For
Cheating shakes the bedrock of any relationship. It will automatically lead to lack of trust for your partner and may lead to ending the relationship or divorce for married couples. Before accusing your partner of cheating, however, make sure that you have very concrete evidence that will nail him - evidence that he cannot deny or make an excuse for.
There are many signs of a cheating partner, among of which are:
• Loss of confidence in them, in the sense that the cheating partners will find every reason to doubt what their partners do. This becomes worse when your sexual relationship is affected, where the cheating partner will lose interest in getting emotionally engaged with you. The cheating partner will also tend to have a string of excuses.
• If your partner is always using contraceptives, then this is a sign of a cheating partner because the contraceptives are the valid evidence of sexual engagements. Your partner can use them to hide so that she is not caught off guard, especially conceiving by another man in case you are not intimate in your relationship. Contraceptives are not bad to have and carry, but they are bad when carried without the knowledge of your partner or are hidden from your partner.
• If your partner all over a sudden becomes workaholic, this is another thing to watch out for. If your partner seems to be spending most of his nights away from home, then he is avoiding you and wants to have more time with someone else. He might start making up excuses of coming home late or even spending nights out. The most common reason given is being too busy.
• Opening another account or changing email account passwords is another warning signal. Your partner might go to an extent of closing the email account that the two of you have been accessing - your partner might have given you the password, meaning you are allowed to view anything from the account. When your partners knows that the mail might be of great danger as you might find out what he is doing, he will open another account that will remain private.
• When your partner becomes sensitive with her cell phone then this is a sign of a cheating partner that you should not ignore. During your earlier times of dating, you trusted each other to such an extent that he could use your phone at any time and answer your calls. When he starts cheating on you, there will be another cell phone that the cheating partner will use to store whatever he wants. The partner will guard the phone jealously, and it will hardly contain any messages, as they will be deleted almost immediately after being read.
There are many signs of a cheating partner, among of which are:
• Loss of confidence in them, in the sense that the cheating partners will find every reason to doubt what their partners do. This becomes worse when your sexual relationship is affected, where the cheating partner will lose interest in getting emotionally engaged with you. The cheating partner will also tend to have a string of excuses.
• If your partner is always using contraceptives, then this is a sign of a cheating partner because the contraceptives are the valid evidence of sexual engagements. Your partner can use them to hide so that she is not caught off guard, especially conceiving by another man in case you are not intimate in your relationship. Contraceptives are not bad to have and carry, but they are bad when carried without the knowledge of your partner or are hidden from your partner.
• If your partner all over a sudden becomes workaholic, this is another thing to watch out for. If your partner seems to be spending most of his nights away from home, then he is avoiding you and wants to have more time with someone else. He might start making up excuses of coming home late or even spending nights out. The most common reason given is being too busy.
• Opening another account or changing email account passwords is another warning signal. Your partner might go to an extent of closing the email account that the two of you have been accessing - your partner might have given you the password, meaning you are allowed to view anything from the account. When your partners knows that the mail might be of great danger as you might find out what he is doing, he will open another account that will remain private.
• When your partner becomes sensitive with her cell phone then this is a sign of a cheating partner that you should not ignore. During your earlier times of dating, you trusted each other to such an extent that he could use your phone at any time and answer your calls. When he starts cheating on you, there will be another cell phone that the cheating partner will use to store whatever he wants. The partner will guard the phone jealously, and it will hardly contain any messages, as they will be deleted almost immediately after being read.
Why You Should Give Your Cheating Wife a Second Chance
When it comes to cheating, husbands usually find it more difficult to deal with the issue than the wives. This may be due to a number of misconceptions that have been held since time immemorial, where husbands tend to go scot free while women are believed to cheat rarely.
It is sad, but this misconception plays a role when it comes to a cheating wife, where the husband will feel emasculated. Therefore, many men think that there is no way they can forgive their cheating wives and restore their relationships. However, there are many important reasons why you should give your cheating wife a second chance, and here are the four major ones.
There are high chances that you also want another chance
As you think of giving your wife a second chance, you should not just focus on her. Look deep inside yourself and you are likely to discover that you really want a second chance. Unfortunately, this is something that people do not usually consider in such circumstances. Your first reason for giving your cheating wife a second chance is because you want to work things out in the first place. There is little reason for going for a second chance if you do not want it yourself first of all.
You still love her
The fact that men know how to control their emotions better does not mean that they have no emotions. Love is something that takes time to grow and does not die in an instant. The love you feel for her will not switch off when you discover her cheating ways. You may feel like switching the love off, but that is just not feasible. You should therefore stop hurting yourself further but forgive her instead.
You still have faith in the vows you made to each other
It is true that your wife has broken the vow she had made, but that does not mean that you will lose hope in the marriage vows you swore. You should still make a commitment to reach the ideal you were working towards. Marriage is still valuable in spite of the numerous things that have diluted it.
Your wife is striving to make up for her mistakes
If your wife is trying to mend your strained relationship, she will make great efforts to change her ways. It is only fair that you give her a second chance to make up for her mistakes although she certainly cannot undo what she did. Remember that you have your own mistakes, even if you do not have any affair.
It is sad, but this misconception plays a role when it comes to a cheating wife, where the husband will feel emasculated. Therefore, many men think that there is no way they can forgive their cheating wives and restore their relationships. However, there are many important reasons why you should give your cheating wife a second chance, and here are the four major ones.
There are high chances that you also want another chance
As you think of giving your wife a second chance, you should not just focus on her. Look deep inside yourself and you are likely to discover that you really want a second chance. Unfortunately, this is something that people do not usually consider in such circumstances. Your first reason for giving your cheating wife a second chance is because you want to work things out in the first place. There is little reason for going for a second chance if you do not want it yourself first of all.
You still love her
The fact that men know how to control their emotions better does not mean that they have no emotions. Love is something that takes time to grow and does not die in an instant. The love you feel for her will not switch off when you discover her cheating ways. You may feel like switching the love off, but that is just not feasible. You should therefore stop hurting yourself further but forgive her instead.
You still have faith in the vows you made to each other
It is true that your wife has broken the vow she had made, but that does not mean that you will lose hope in the marriage vows you swore. You should still make a commitment to reach the ideal you were working towards. Marriage is still valuable in spite of the numerous things that have diluted it.
Your wife is striving to make up for her mistakes
If your wife is trying to mend your strained relationship, she will make great efforts to change her ways. It is only fair that you give her a second chance to make up for her mistakes although she certainly cannot undo what she did. Remember that you have your own mistakes, even if you do not have any affair.
How To Date Your Best Friend: 3 Important Things To Know
It’s not easy to know how to date your best friend. In fact, not a lot of people take the leap for fear of ruining the friendship. While there is that risk, there are a significant number of best friends-turned-couples who end up living happily ever after.
If you’re thinking of taking that path and want to learn how to date your best friend, here are some tips that might be helpful to you.
Tip # 1: Take It Slow.
Relationships that are too fast-paced don’t really have an impressive track record. And when it comes to a relationship that stemmed from a platonic understanding, you really don’t want to rush it! What does this mean?
Well, it means that you need to gradually transgress from being friends, to being more than friends, to being a definite item. Keep kisses to a minimum. Start by holding hands first. Go on group dates before going solo. Don’t go on candle light dinners with violinists either. Not at first anyway.
Opt for simple dates and casual places that both of you enjoy as friends. This way, you give each other time to get used to the idea of dating.
Tip # 2: Be Careful With Your Words.
The great thing about asking your best friend for a date is that you two already know each other. However, that is also one of the worst things about dating your special someone. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you might say something hurtful and insensitive, basically using inside information to hurt your best friend.
That is also applicable vice-versa. You can’t take your words back. And if you two ever got into a big fight, that might be the end of your relationship. Both the romantic and the friendship! So think twice before you blurt out something that you know is off limits.
Tip # 3: Be Prepared For Awkwardness.
If you want to know how to date your best friend, you’ve got to be prepared for some degree of awkwardness. That feeling will eventually go away as you two become more comfortable with each other; but knowing that it will be there in the beginning helps you overcome it faster.
Don’t think too much about how your dates are going to turn out and what’s at the end of the tunnel. Just enjoy the moment, even the awkward ones.
These are just some of the tips on how to date your best friend. In the end, how everything goes is still up to you two.
If you’re thinking of taking that path and want to learn how to date your best friend, here are some tips that might be helpful to you.
Tip # 1: Take It Slow.
Relationships that are too fast-paced don’t really have an impressive track record. And when it comes to a relationship that stemmed from a platonic understanding, you really don’t want to rush it! What does this mean?
Well, it means that you need to gradually transgress from being friends, to being more than friends, to being a definite item. Keep kisses to a minimum. Start by holding hands first. Go on group dates before going solo. Don’t go on candle light dinners with violinists either. Not at first anyway.
Opt for simple dates and casual places that both of you enjoy as friends. This way, you give each other time to get used to the idea of dating.
Tip # 2: Be Careful With Your Words.
The great thing about asking your best friend for a date is that you two already know each other. However, that is also one of the worst things about dating your special someone. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you might say something hurtful and insensitive, basically using inside information to hurt your best friend.
That is also applicable vice-versa. You can’t take your words back. And if you two ever got into a big fight, that might be the end of your relationship. Both the romantic and the friendship! So think twice before you blurt out something that you know is off limits.
Tip # 3: Be Prepared For Awkwardness.
If you want to know how to date your best friend, you’ve got to be prepared for some degree of awkwardness. That feeling will eventually go away as you two become more comfortable with each other; but knowing that it will be there in the beginning helps you overcome it faster.
Don’t think too much about how your dates are going to turn out and what’s at the end of the tunnel. Just enjoy the moment, even the awkward ones.
These are just some of the tips on how to date your best friend. In the end, how everything goes is still up to you two.
2012年8月30日星期四
Do You Believe Your Ex Has Hidden Assets or Funds?
A very hard experience for most any person to go through is a divorce. It is hard enough that people must face that their relationship is coming to an end, but then there are also other frustrating factors that are usually added into the mix that can make a divorce even harder to go through. In most cases where a child or children was the result of a Marriage, there is a judgment for child support that will also enter into the picture. However, this does not always mean that the custodial parent is going to receive the child support that is supposed to be paid for the care of their children, as numerous deadbeat parents skip town in an attempt to keep from having to pay child support. There are also other cases where a parent will try to get away with hiding various assets or funds that they have in their name so that the amount they are held responsible in paying for child support, remains at a low level. If this is the type of situation that you are facing and you believe that your ex is hiding assets or funds, the first thing that you should do is consult with an experienced private investigator that specializes in performing asset search investigations.
This type of investigation can be an extremely beneficial service for individuals that believe their ex to be hiding assets and funds from them, because it is very effective at locating the assets that a person's ex may be hiding. Another benefit is the fact that it can be performed in a very short period of time. When an individual has reason to believe that their ex may be hiding checking accounts, savings accounts, or other types of funds, an asset search investigation is the easiest way to find out for sure.
Information that a person needs to provide to the investigator they choose to perform this type of investigation would include the social security number, the full name, the telephone number, and the street address where the individual lives. This is all that is needed for the expert to locate such assets and hidden funds as a company that may be in their name, real estate properties that they have, trust accounts, investments that would include stocks, bonds, and mutual funds, assets that include automobiles, airplanes, boats, and various other types of assets. If you think your ex has hidden assets or funds that you do not know about, find out for sure by consulting with an expert private investigator.
Copyright (c) 2010 Ed Opperman
This type of investigation can be an extremely beneficial service for individuals that believe their ex to be hiding assets and funds from them, because it is very effective at locating the assets that a person's ex may be hiding. Another benefit is the fact that it can be performed in a very short period of time. When an individual has reason to believe that their ex may be hiding checking accounts, savings accounts, or other types of funds, an asset search investigation is the easiest way to find out for sure.
Information that a person needs to provide to the investigator they choose to perform this type of investigation would include the social security number, the full name, the telephone number, and the street address where the individual lives. This is all that is needed for the expert to locate such assets and hidden funds as a company that may be in their name, real estate properties that they have, trust accounts, investments that would include stocks, bonds, and mutual funds, assets that include automobiles, airplanes, boats, and various other types of assets. If you think your ex has hidden assets or funds that you do not know about, find out for sure by consulting with an expert private investigator.
Copyright (c) 2010 Ed Opperman
How to Ensure Your Wife Never Cheats Any More
One of the things that destroy many relationships is cheating. Many great relationships come to an end on a daily basis because one partner has cheated on the other. However, if you face this unfortunate circumstance in your marriage, it does not necessarily have to ruin everything except when you let it.
Nevertheless, the fact that you will restore your relationship does not in itself indicate that everything will be back to normal. If you want to establish a stronger relationship that can weather the harsh storms of cheating, you will need to work at it with great dedication.
The fact that you have forgiven your wife and settled back into your relationship does not suffice to prevent her from going astray another time. If your wife went as far as cheating on you, it meant that something was lacking that the other man offered her. If you do not work on these things, she can still cheat once more to fulfill her needs.
The following four things are very powerful when it comes to building a stronger relationship. However, this does not mean that they are the panacea for every relationship, as there are no absolutes in such matters, and every relationship is unique.
Convince her that she is the center of your affection
It is very important for your wife to know that you truly appreciate the part she plays in your relationship. She is bound to be very happy when she knows that you take note of the little ways in which she makes your life better every day.
Find suitable ways of pleasing her
When it comes to your sex lives, it is not just a matter of having it, as it may be for you. Sex goes deeper for women, and you should make an effort to work out ways that will make her really derive the pleasure she deserves. It is when she is pleased that you will also reach the peak of ecstasy anyway.
Put her at the top of your priority
The problem is that people tend to push their spouses to the back of their priorities after they have settled into comfortable relationships. However, if you want to ensure that your wife never cheats any more, you will need to put her ahead of anyone else. If you tend to make her receive just what is left over from your life after you have taken care of other people's needs, she will be discouraged and it will be easy for her to look for comfort from elsewhere.
Spice up your romantic side
As husbands settle into comfort zones in their relationships, they usually take romance for granted. In spite of the increased responsibilities, you will still need to keep the romance alive if you want to keep her excited.
Nevertheless, the fact that you will restore your relationship does not in itself indicate that everything will be back to normal. If you want to establish a stronger relationship that can weather the harsh storms of cheating, you will need to work at it with great dedication.
The fact that you have forgiven your wife and settled back into your relationship does not suffice to prevent her from going astray another time. If your wife went as far as cheating on you, it meant that something was lacking that the other man offered her. If you do not work on these things, she can still cheat once more to fulfill her needs.
The following four things are very powerful when it comes to building a stronger relationship. However, this does not mean that they are the panacea for every relationship, as there are no absolutes in such matters, and every relationship is unique.
Convince her that she is the center of your affection
It is very important for your wife to know that you truly appreciate the part she plays in your relationship. She is bound to be very happy when she knows that you take note of the little ways in which she makes your life better every day.
Find suitable ways of pleasing her
When it comes to your sex lives, it is not just a matter of having it, as it may be for you. Sex goes deeper for women, and you should make an effort to work out ways that will make her really derive the pleasure she deserves. It is when she is pleased that you will also reach the peak of ecstasy anyway.
Put her at the top of your priority
The problem is that people tend to push their spouses to the back of their priorities after they have settled into comfortable relationships. However, if you want to ensure that your wife never cheats any more, you will need to put her ahead of anyone else. If you tend to make her receive just what is left over from your life after you have taken care of other people's needs, she will be discouraged and it will be easy for her to look for comfort from elsewhere.
Spice up your romantic side
As husbands settle into comfort zones in their relationships, they usually take romance for granted. In spite of the increased responsibilities, you will still need to keep the romance alive if you want to keep her excited.
Make the Guy You Love Adore You Using Your Charisma
Make the guy you love and adore you! Every woman wants to be loved and adored by the man in their live. You are no exception and wants this to happen in your life too. How can you let this magic happen in your life? All women yearn for this magic to happen in their lives. Relationship need work and to Win a guy’s love and admiration is not an easy task for some. However, it is not a daunting task if you know how. You have to relax before you proceed with your mission. Every man has different quality and you have to understand what quality does your guy posses.
If you are on a hunt to find a Mr Right for you then you might find countless guys who are not even 1% of your expectation. When you find your ideal Mr. Right, then you would wonder how to make the guy adore you. When you find your man, it is not easy to determine his qualities and you might again find yourself in the land of confusion. No woman can precisely understand what a man expects from her. You have to move on with your strategies in a very smart way. Every woman has special qualities and do you know that you have them too? You have to understand your special qualities through which you can entice your guy.
• Be yourself: You have to be what you are and you do not have to pretend or be someone you are not. If you overdo or overact and throw unnecessary attitude, you are likely to lose even the best guy that you were waiting for. So, do not put on an act but be yourself.
• Be bold and frank: Do not show that you are timid and vulnerable. Come out of your nervous nature, if you are nervous. Men do not appreciate weak women and you might land up being ignored by your guy. You have to be bold and frank, but make sure you do not cross your limits and make your guy despise you for whatever reasons.
• Respect your partner: If you want to make the guy you love and adore you then you have to be smart in many ways. Respect the man and gain respect from him. Follow the old saying, “Give respect and take respect.” Do not let him feel bad about anything. If you think he has made some mistakes, always ignore minor mistakes and do not act pricy. Be simple and sweet! Men prefer simple and innocent women and they love when their women respect them. Show your man how much you respect and love him, this will naturally make him love you and adore you.
If you are on a hunt to find a Mr Right for you then you might find countless guys who are not even 1% of your expectation. When you find your ideal Mr. Right, then you would wonder how to make the guy adore you. When you find your man, it is not easy to determine his qualities and you might again find yourself in the land of confusion. No woman can precisely understand what a man expects from her. You have to move on with your strategies in a very smart way. Every woman has special qualities and do you know that you have them too? You have to understand your special qualities through which you can entice your guy.
• Be yourself: You have to be what you are and you do not have to pretend or be someone you are not. If you overdo or overact and throw unnecessary attitude, you are likely to lose even the best guy that you were waiting for. So, do not put on an act but be yourself.
• Be bold and frank: Do not show that you are timid and vulnerable. Come out of your nervous nature, if you are nervous. Men do not appreciate weak women and you might land up being ignored by your guy. You have to be bold and frank, but make sure you do not cross your limits and make your guy despise you for whatever reasons.
• Respect your partner: If you want to make the guy you love and adore you then you have to be smart in many ways. Respect the man and gain respect from him. Follow the old saying, “Give respect and take respect.” Do not let him feel bad about anything. If you think he has made some mistakes, always ignore minor mistakes and do not act pricy. Be simple and sweet! Men prefer simple and innocent women and they love when their women respect them. Show your man how much you respect and love him, this will naturally make him love you and adore you.
Online Infidelity Investigations Can Help When You Notice the Signs of Cheating
For most people, the signs of cheating are not very hard to miss. However, for individuals that have never had to worry about such things, the signs may not be so easy to notice. Some of the most common signs that are most often noticed and are generally associated with a partner that has cheating on the mind include coming home late at night, lack of interest in sex, being disinterested in activities with the family, spending lots of their extra time on the computer, and deleting data from their cell phone. No person should ever have to go through the pain, confusion, and frustration that occur when a spouse or partner is cheating. Sadly, this is a reality that happens to people every single day.
If your partner has been acting much different than usual and you have started to notice the signs of cheating, consult with an expert private investigator that has experience in performing an online infidelity investigation. This service is the perfect answer for individuals that believe their spouse has taken social networking sites and other places on the web such as dating sites, way too seriously. Social networking sites can be a great place to converse with family members and friends, but unfortunately there are many people that use websites like Myspace and Facebook to meet other individuals that they would like to have an affair with. If this is the activity that you suspect your partner to be engaging in and you notice the signs of cheating, an online infidelity investigation can reveal some very helpful information that will either prove or disprove the suspicions that you are having.
All it takes to check up on the online activities of your spouse or partner is an email address. Then the investigator will search through numerous sites such as porn, escort, dating, fetish, and a variety of social networking sites that your partner may be registered on. Once the information is obtained, you will be sent links to the sites that have their registration. There is no need to waste your time and devotion with a cheating husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Consult with an experienced private investigator as soon as you notice the signs of cheating. In a matter of just a few short days you will be informed of the activities of your partner once the online infidelity investigation has been performed and completed.
Copyright (c) 2010 Ed Opperman
If your partner has been acting much different than usual and you have started to notice the signs of cheating, consult with an expert private investigator that has experience in performing an online infidelity investigation. This service is the perfect answer for individuals that believe their spouse has taken social networking sites and other places on the web such as dating sites, way too seriously. Social networking sites can be a great place to converse with family members and friends, but unfortunately there are many people that use websites like Myspace and Facebook to meet other individuals that they would like to have an affair with. If this is the activity that you suspect your partner to be engaging in and you notice the signs of cheating, an online infidelity investigation can reveal some very helpful information that will either prove or disprove the suspicions that you are having.
All it takes to check up on the online activities of your spouse or partner is an email address. Then the investigator will search through numerous sites such as porn, escort, dating, fetish, and a variety of social networking sites that your partner may be registered on. Once the information is obtained, you will be sent links to the sites that have their registration. There is no need to waste your time and devotion with a cheating husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Consult with an experienced private investigator as soon as you notice the signs of cheating. In a matter of just a few short days you will be informed of the activities of your partner once the online infidelity investigation has been performed and completed.
Copyright (c) 2010 Ed Opperman
2012年8月29日星期三
Being Driven To Be Right
I get a lot of e-mails and calls from people whose relationships are not going well because of quarreling and disagreements. This is THE theme I want to address today. Why do people quarrel? We will address one of the reasons today:
We all know the feeling we get when we are right about something. We feel better about ourselves, we are smart, we know what we are talking about, we are knowledgeable, we are in control, we won. Our self-esteem improves. We are "worth" more in our own eyes and hopefully in other people's eyes too. Being right often fuels our daily actions whether we notice it, or want to admit it. You may not even think that you are driven to be right. You may say simply: "But, I am RIGHT". Holding tight to it without willingness to let go is what I call being driven. If our life consists of the actions we take, conversations we have and relationships we are in, then our very lives may well be driven by the need to be right. Yes, the payoff for being right is certainly big. It often keeps us from those dreaded negative self-esteem feelings. It's a shot in the arm and a boost to our ego. We do get a lot out of it.
Unfortunately there is another side of the coin. There is no "free lunch". You cannot get something for nothing. This good feeling about being right HAS a cost; sometimes an enormous cost that we often aren't even aware of. Our very relationships with other people and the ones we love and want to be with the most are at stake.
When we feel that we are right about something and that we have to get the other person to see and adopt our point of view, we seem to be in the zone, like fish in the water. We are not aware of anything else but our urge to be right. We know "the truth". We know how it "IS". At the same time, at the fringes of our consciousness, we notice that we are going down the spiral of damaging our relationship, but are powerless to do anything about it. The urge to be right is so overpowering.
How do we deal with it? Is there a way out of it?
I suggest the place TO start is developing self-awareness ABOUT your actions and by being ruthlessly honest with yourself. The following are some actions and points to keep in mind TO STOP the downward spiral syndrome:
•NOTICE HOW OFTEN YOU MAKE YOUR PARTNER WRONG.
• Consider that others have their own opinion and, although you may not agree with it, they still have a right to have it. It is important to acknowledge that your partner has a right to her/his own point of view. (At this point you may say: yes but it is wrong.) Give it up and observe what happens.
• Do not hold a grudge. You cannot change the past. But, you can create a new future.
• Develop listening skills. You have two ears and only one mouth. Listen twice as much as you speak. Make sure that your partner knows that you fully heard what has just been said. Repeat your partner's words if necessary. (More on listening in future issues)
• TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP, i.e what comes out of your mouth, how you interpret what you hear, etc.
•NOTICE that your partner's actions are ALWAYS in reaction to what you do. A new concept?! Uh? (A word of caution: do not make yourself wrong for everything now. If you do, it will turn out to be the same behavior AS being right .
• Be generous. Only big people who do not have to constantly prove themselves can afford to be generous. Strangely enough, it works the other way around as well: you become big by being generous. Allow your partner to be right. Acknowledge that she/he has a right to their opinion.
• Give up the right to be right.
We all know the feeling we get when we are right about something. We feel better about ourselves, we are smart, we know what we are talking about, we are knowledgeable, we are in control, we won. Our self-esteem improves. We are "worth" more in our own eyes and hopefully in other people's eyes too. Being right often fuels our daily actions whether we notice it, or want to admit it. You may not even think that you are driven to be right. You may say simply: "But, I am RIGHT". Holding tight to it without willingness to let go is what I call being driven. If our life consists of the actions we take, conversations we have and relationships we are in, then our very lives may well be driven by the need to be right. Yes, the payoff for being right is certainly big. It often keeps us from those dreaded negative self-esteem feelings. It's a shot in the arm and a boost to our ego. We do get a lot out of it.
Unfortunately there is another side of the coin. There is no "free lunch". You cannot get something for nothing. This good feeling about being right HAS a cost; sometimes an enormous cost that we often aren't even aware of. Our very relationships with other people and the ones we love and want to be with the most are at stake.
When we feel that we are right about something and that we have to get the other person to see and adopt our point of view, we seem to be in the zone, like fish in the water. We are not aware of anything else but our urge to be right. We know "the truth". We know how it "IS". At the same time, at the fringes of our consciousness, we notice that we are going down the spiral of damaging our relationship, but are powerless to do anything about it. The urge to be right is so overpowering.
How do we deal with it? Is there a way out of it?
I suggest the place TO start is developing self-awareness ABOUT your actions and by being ruthlessly honest with yourself. The following are some actions and points to keep in mind TO STOP the downward spiral syndrome:
•NOTICE HOW OFTEN YOU MAKE YOUR PARTNER WRONG.
• Consider that others have their own opinion and, although you may not agree with it, they still have a right to have it. It is important to acknowledge that your partner has a right to her/his own point of view. (At this point you may say: yes but it is wrong.) Give it up and observe what happens.
• Do not hold a grudge. You cannot change the past. But, you can create a new future.
• Develop listening skills. You have two ears and only one mouth. Listen twice as much as you speak. Make sure that your partner knows that you fully heard what has just been said. Repeat your partner's words if necessary. (More on listening in future issues)
• TAKE 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP, i.e what comes out of your mouth, how you interpret what you hear, etc.
•NOTICE that your partner's actions are ALWAYS in reaction to what you do. A new concept?! Uh? (A word of caution: do not make yourself wrong for everything now. If you do, it will turn out to be the same behavior AS being right .
• Be generous. Only big people who do not have to constantly prove themselves can afford to be generous. Strangely enough, it works the other way around as well: you become big by being generous. Allow your partner to be right. Acknowledge that she/he has a right to their opinion.
• Give up the right to be right.
The History Of Reportage Wedding Photography
Reportage Wedding Photography is still thought by many to be a recent trend in wedding photography. In fact it has a long heritage and was often called candid photography in the context of a wedding. Seen by extreme traditionalists (a rare breed now) as a new fad, it was felt to threaten the supremacy of the medium format camera with its staged shots and posed set ups.
In the old style, photographers always had a big camera set up on a tripod and even a hood over the head of the photographer. This very formal and very posed art of portraiture was born, like so many of today's cultural norms, of technological limitations. Way back when, photographic technology required long exposure times, long winded plate or film changes and "keep still" poses. Fast 35 mm film basically solved this problem, again with certain limitations. Lighter cameras holding rolls meant that photojournalistic techniques could be applied to wedding photography.
The game changer was that wedding photography needed no longer to be posed. Wedding Photography could now become Reportage Photography. Precious moments, unrepeatable in a pose are only possible with the participants being unaware that a camera is in use. Fast film offered this to a degree, although the fastest film was ISO 1600 or 3200 and were very grainy. In fact the grain produced by fast film (which enabled action freezing photojournalism in low-ish light) became a signature "look" found in time magazine and other iconic journals.
Naturally, wedding photography started to borrow this look and start demanding the grainy black and white look. The grain is of course a form of visual artefact - a distortion of the truth in reality. Today's technology now takes this several steps further with the equivalent of ISO 102,000 available on some machines. A shot at ISO 6400 is now considered routine - affording incredible reportage wedding photography options to the photographer - with no grain in sight.
At times the modern, digital wedding photographer is asked to add a simulation of celluloid film grain to otherwise pristine photograph. Although it can look great, it's an intriguing fact of aesthetics that a photograph can seem more timeless and real with artefacts added to it.
Part of the maturation of Reportage Wedding Photography has be the evolution of the Wedding Album. Rather than present the married couple with a simple book with best pictures placed in order of preference, the wedding photographer’s task now includes the design and layout of a book that well tell the story of the wedding.Photographs are placed in a digitally printed book, in chronological order. Each photo relates to each other photo as part of a linear story, bringing vividly back the memories of the big day.
In the old style, photographers always had a big camera set up on a tripod and even a hood over the head of the photographer. This very formal and very posed art of portraiture was born, like so many of today's cultural norms, of technological limitations. Way back when, photographic technology required long exposure times, long winded plate or film changes and "keep still" poses. Fast 35 mm film basically solved this problem, again with certain limitations. Lighter cameras holding rolls meant that photojournalistic techniques could be applied to wedding photography.
The game changer was that wedding photography needed no longer to be posed. Wedding Photography could now become Reportage Photography. Precious moments, unrepeatable in a pose are only possible with the participants being unaware that a camera is in use. Fast film offered this to a degree, although the fastest film was ISO 1600 or 3200 and were very grainy. In fact the grain produced by fast film (which enabled action freezing photojournalism in low-ish light) became a signature "look" found in time magazine and other iconic journals.
Naturally, wedding photography started to borrow this look and start demanding the grainy black and white look. The grain is of course a form of visual artefact - a distortion of the truth in reality. Today's technology now takes this several steps further with the equivalent of ISO 102,000 available on some machines. A shot at ISO 6400 is now considered routine - affording incredible reportage wedding photography options to the photographer - with no grain in sight.
At times the modern, digital wedding photographer is asked to add a simulation of celluloid film grain to otherwise pristine photograph. Although it can look great, it's an intriguing fact of aesthetics that a photograph can seem more timeless and real with artefacts added to it.
Part of the maturation of Reportage Wedding Photography has be the evolution of the Wedding Album. Rather than present the married couple with a simple book with best pictures placed in order of preference, the wedding photographer’s task now includes the design and layout of a book that well tell the story of the wedding.Photographs are placed in a digitally printed book, in chronological order. Each photo relates to each other photo as part of a linear story, bringing vividly back the memories of the big day.
The Debilitating World Of Emotional Abuse - Are You In One?
Are you happy? You can’t point your finger why or what exactly, but you are just sad. You don’t know what’s wrong but it is so hard for you to make any decisions by yourself now. How can this be- you use to be so self- sufficient, independent and decisive.
You are so confused, can’t concentrate and forgetful- this is so not you. You become afraid of your spouse. You do anything in your power to please him, especially making sure not to irate him. If he does something foolish and intolerable, you make excuses for his actions; you justify it to yourself and to others.
You can’t remember when you had your last peaceful sleep- there are drastic changes in your sleeping and eating habits. You only drink socially but now you have stocks of bourbon in your fridge. You love singing and dancing with friends or at home alone but now, you don’t even have the slightest energy to listen to your favorite records.
You don’t go out anymore - you isolate yourself. You forgot the last time you went out with friends or talked to a family member. You feel anxious, sick, tired and/ or depressed most of the time. You are at a lost of yourself- who are you? You use to be so confident, so sure of yourself, not afraid to be alone.
What happened to the person that you are? “Is this what marriage do to a person? Yes, he is not perfect but is it normal to feel this way?” The answer is no- if you can relate to anything from the symptoms mentioned- you are far from normal. You are in an abusive relationship- an abuse that has a subliminal effect.
One that you cannot see but it cripples your being and it shatters your soul- emotional abuse. Our emotions are the one that helps us function properly as a human, as a person, it where our humanity is. Imagine if your humanity is taken away from you. In this kind of abuse, your partner never passes a chance to devalue you as a person.
Not listening and considering your opinion- or even making fun of it alone or with friends or in a crowd. He constantly questions your intelligence and ideas. He takes delight in embarrassing you. He does everything in his power to make you feel insecure and helpless, until you see yourself next to nothingness.
And if that is not enough, he takes away your freedom by taking away your finances- making you totally dependent of him in all aspects. He makes you feel that you’re not good enough- as a wife, as a mother, as a friend, as a person. The abuser will make you believe that you cannot survive without him and that you are lucky to have him because you are a lesser person.
He always threatens to leave you and takes pleasure to see you panic every time he does. If you think it can’t get any worse than these, then you are totally wrong, it can and it will get worse. It can escalate to physical abuse and he can do this to your children.
Abusers are monsters, they are insatiable of the power they have over you. They will not stop unless you stand up for yourself. This is a serious kind of abuse. Get help. Protect your family- protect yourself.
You are so confused, can’t concentrate and forgetful- this is so not you. You become afraid of your spouse. You do anything in your power to please him, especially making sure not to irate him. If he does something foolish and intolerable, you make excuses for his actions; you justify it to yourself and to others.
You can’t remember when you had your last peaceful sleep- there are drastic changes in your sleeping and eating habits. You only drink socially but now you have stocks of bourbon in your fridge. You love singing and dancing with friends or at home alone but now, you don’t even have the slightest energy to listen to your favorite records.
You don’t go out anymore - you isolate yourself. You forgot the last time you went out with friends or talked to a family member. You feel anxious, sick, tired and/ or depressed most of the time. You are at a lost of yourself- who are you? You use to be so confident, so sure of yourself, not afraid to be alone.
What happened to the person that you are? “Is this what marriage do to a person? Yes, he is not perfect but is it normal to feel this way?” The answer is no- if you can relate to anything from the symptoms mentioned- you are far from normal. You are in an abusive relationship- an abuse that has a subliminal effect.
One that you cannot see but it cripples your being and it shatters your soul- emotional abuse. Our emotions are the one that helps us function properly as a human, as a person, it where our humanity is. Imagine if your humanity is taken away from you. In this kind of abuse, your partner never passes a chance to devalue you as a person.
Not listening and considering your opinion- or even making fun of it alone or with friends or in a crowd. He constantly questions your intelligence and ideas. He takes delight in embarrassing you. He does everything in his power to make you feel insecure and helpless, until you see yourself next to nothingness.
And if that is not enough, he takes away your freedom by taking away your finances- making you totally dependent of him in all aspects. He makes you feel that you’re not good enough- as a wife, as a mother, as a friend, as a person. The abuser will make you believe that you cannot survive without him and that you are lucky to have him because you are a lesser person.
He always threatens to leave you and takes pleasure to see you panic every time he does. If you think it can’t get any worse than these, then you are totally wrong, it can and it will get worse. It can escalate to physical abuse and he can do this to your children.
Abusers are monsters, they are insatiable of the power they have over you. They will not stop unless you stand up for yourself. This is a serious kind of abuse. Get help. Protect your family- protect yourself.
Making The Little Things Count In Your Relationship
In my experience with couples in relationships, it’s usually the little things that count. Let me tell you a story by way of example… (this is a fictional scenario):
John and Joan have been married for 5 years and are still very much in love. Of course they have arguments and disagreements, as every couple ultimately experiences. Lately, though, they’ve noticed that they have been getting frustrated with each other over the little things. For example, John is a tidy person and it drives him crazy when Joan leaves dishes in the sink or clothes lying around. And Joan gets annoyed when John lets their dog in the bedroom. They brush these niggling frustrations aside, as how bad can conflict get over annoying little habits?
One year down the line and John and Joan are arguing incessantly and have little patience for each other. What has happened to the love and romance? They decide to seek marriage counseling to solve these insurmountable issues and bring them closer together once again.
This conflict situation could have been nipped in the bud, if John and Joan had only dealt with their frustrations earlier on in their marriage. Remember that it takes individual bricks to build a brick wall, so if they had only dealt with each brick one at a time as they stacked up, they would not have had a wall of resentment and frustration to contend with.
Sadly, many relationships end over trivial matters that escalate over time. So how can couples stop these trivialities from creeping in between them?
· Communicate – deal with your irritations as they appear. Your partner leaves his/her socks lying on the floor? An obsessive TV habit that’s driving you crazy? Tell your partner how it makes you feel. Verbalize what is important to you. But do this sensitively and tactfully!
· Make an effort to change – okay, so your partner has told you that you need to close the lid on the toothpaste, so now what? Do it! Even if it means that you need to make that little bit more of an effort, remember how important it is to your partner and to your relationship. And in return, you will find that your partner will take special care in trying to stop habits that frustrate you.
· Thank each other – notice the effort that your partner is making to keep you happy and verbalize that. Thank your partner – not once or twice, but every time you see him/her attempting to change a habit and let him/her know that you really appreciate it!
Try this and you will see that you will feel more loving to your partner and this will bring you closer together.
Remember, it’s the little things that count
John and Joan have been married for 5 years and are still very much in love. Of course they have arguments and disagreements, as every couple ultimately experiences. Lately, though, they’ve noticed that they have been getting frustrated with each other over the little things. For example, John is a tidy person and it drives him crazy when Joan leaves dishes in the sink or clothes lying around. And Joan gets annoyed when John lets their dog in the bedroom. They brush these niggling frustrations aside, as how bad can conflict get over annoying little habits?
One year down the line and John and Joan are arguing incessantly and have little patience for each other. What has happened to the love and romance? They decide to seek marriage counseling to solve these insurmountable issues and bring them closer together once again.
This conflict situation could have been nipped in the bud, if John and Joan had only dealt with their frustrations earlier on in their marriage. Remember that it takes individual bricks to build a brick wall, so if they had only dealt with each brick one at a time as they stacked up, they would not have had a wall of resentment and frustration to contend with.
Sadly, many relationships end over trivial matters that escalate over time. So how can couples stop these trivialities from creeping in between them?
· Communicate – deal with your irritations as they appear. Your partner leaves his/her socks lying on the floor? An obsessive TV habit that’s driving you crazy? Tell your partner how it makes you feel. Verbalize what is important to you. But do this sensitively and tactfully!
· Make an effort to change – okay, so your partner has told you that you need to close the lid on the toothpaste, so now what? Do it! Even if it means that you need to make that little bit more of an effort, remember how important it is to your partner and to your relationship. And in return, you will find that your partner will take special care in trying to stop habits that frustrate you.
· Thank each other – notice the effort that your partner is making to keep you happy and verbalize that. Thank your partner – not once or twice, but every time you see him/her attempting to change a habit and let him/her know that you really appreciate it!
Try this and you will see that you will feel more loving to your partner and this will bring you closer together.
Remember, it’s the little things that count
2012年8月28日星期二
5 Good Reasons Why You Should Walk Away from a Cheating Boyfriend
In many cases, you should work at saving your relationship even when you discover that your partner has cheated on you. However, this does not mean that you should try to restore your relationship in every situation. In some cases, it is better to walk away from a cheating boyfriend and start afresh. You are in the best position to determine whether the relationship you had was healthy and worth saving or not.
The following are some of the reasons why you should walk away from a cheating boyfriend.
1. If your relationship was abusive in nature
There is hardly any reason why you should give your boyfriend another chance to abuse you after you have discovered his cheating ways. If you are in an abusive relationship, you should find ways of ending it before things get out of hand. An abusive relationship is not good for either of you.
2. You have reason to believe that he will continue with his cheating ways
In some rare circumstances, people are saddened by the fact that their cheating ways have been discovered without being sorry for the actions themselves. If you believe that your boyfriend falls in this group, then you should walk away from the relationship. If you do not believe in him then making up will be very challenging, and indeed it cannot be fully effective. If you see that your boyfriend is still interested in his affair instead of being sorry, it may be time to call it quits.
3. He tells you he won't stop his affair
There are some few men who do not believe that they should stick to single partners if they are really 'men'. If it happens that your boyfriend falls in this group yet you want to settle into a stable relationship, then you will have no option but to walk away. The more time you take in the relationship the more difficult it will be to break even when you are hurting.
4. You can see that he loves his illicit partner
Although people do not often get into affairs because of love, you may notice that your boyfriend seems to love the other woman. This will effectively mean that he does not love you, which will be a painful blow. If there is no love then there is no reason for staying in the relationship.
5. You cannot bring yourself to forgive him
You may be so affected by his betrayal of trust that you find it difficult to forgive him and go ahead with the relationship. If you take a deep look at yourself and are convinced that you will never forgive him, then you will never have a healthy relationship.
The following are some of the reasons why you should walk away from a cheating boyfriend.
1. If your relationship was abusive in nature
There is hardly any reason why you should give your boyfriend another chance to abuse you after you have discovered his cheating ways. If you are in an abusive relationship, you should find ways of ending it before things get out of hand. An abusive relationship is not good for either of you.
2. You have reason to believe that he will continue with his cheating ways
In some rare circumstances, people are saddened by the fact that their cheating ways have been discovered without being sorry for the actions themselves. If you believe that your boyfriend falls in this group, then you should walk away from the relationship. If you do not believe in him then making up will be very challenging, and indeed it cannot be fully effective. If you see that your boyfriend is still interested in his affair instead of being sorry, it may be time to call it quits.
3. He tells you he won't stop his affair
There are some few men who do not believe that they should stick to single partners if they are really 'men'. If it happens that your boyfriend falls in this group yet you want to settle into a stable relationship, then you will have no option but to walk away. The more time you take in the relationship the more difficult it will be to break even when you are hurting.
4. You can see that he loves his illicit partner
Although people do not often get into affairs because of love, you may notice that your boyfriend seems to love the other woman. This will effectively mean that he does not love you, which will be a painful blow. If there is no love then there is no reason for staying in the relationship.
5. You cannot bring yourself to forgive him
You may be so affected by his betrayal of trust that you find it difficult to forgive him and go ahead with the relationship. If you take a deep look at yourself and are convinced that you will never forgive him, then you will never have a healthy relationship.
The ONE Major Cause of Relationship Problems!
What if there really is ONE major cause of relationship problems, one issue that if you address, would change everything? The good news and the bad news is - there is!
The good news is that it makes it easier to understand why you might be having problems in your relationship.
The bad news is that to resolve the issue takes a deep personal commitment to heal.
The one cause is - self-abandonment.
Let's take a look at what self-abandonment is and why it causes almost all the problems in relationships.
There are many areas in which we can abandon ourselves: emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, relational, and organizational. One or more of these areas may be affecting your relationship.
EMOTIONAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
We abandon ourselves emotionally in four major ways:
1. We judge ourselves rather than accept ourselves.
2. We ignore our feelings by staying up in our head rather than being present in our body, especially our painful feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, and grief.
3. We turn to various addictions to numb the anxiety, depression, guilt, shame and anger that we cause when we judge ourselves and ignore our feelings.
4. We make others responsible for our feelings.
Once we emotionally abandon ourselves and make others responsible for our feelings, then we need to try to control them to get them to love us and make us feel worthy. Trying to control another with anger, blame, criticism, compliance, or withdrawal creates many problems in relationships.
FINANCIAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
When we refuse to take care of ourselves financially, instead expecting our partner to take financial responsibility for us, this can create problems. This is not a problem if your partner agrees to take financial responsibility for you and you fully accept how he or she takes this responsibility, but if you choose to be financially irresponsible, much conflict can occur over your self-abandonment.
ORGANIZATIONAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
If you refuse to take responsibility for your own time and space, instead being consistently late or being a clutterer, and your partner is an on-time and/or neat person, this can create huge power struggles.
PHYSICAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
If you refuse to take care of yourself physically, instead eating badly and not exercising and possibly causing yourself health problems, your partner may feel resentful at having to take care of you. Your physical self-abandonment not only has negative consequences for you regarding your health and well being, but it also has unwanted consequences for your partner, which can lead to much conflict and power struggles.
RELATIONAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
If you refuse to speak up for yourself in your relationship, instead either giving yourself up or resisting, you are eroding the love in the relationship. When you abandon yourself to another through compliance or resistance, you create a lack of trust that leads to conflict and resentment.
SPIRITUAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
When you make your partner your dependable source of love rather than learning to turn to a spiritual source for your dependable source of love, you place a very unfair burden on your partner. When your intent in the relationship is to get love rather than to share love, then you will pull on your partner for attention, approval, time, or sex. When you do not take responsibility for learning how to connect with a spiritual source of sustenance, your neediness can create much conflict in the relationship.
LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF RATHER THAN ABANDON YOURSELF
When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner. Practicing Inner Bonding® is a very powerful way of learning to love yourself!
The good news is that it makes it easier to understand why you might be having problems in your relationship.
The bad news is that to resolve the issue takes a deep personal commitment to heal.
The one cause is - self-abandonment.
Let's take a look at what self-abandonment is and why it causes almost all the problems in relationships.
There are many areas in which we can abandon ourselves: emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, relational, and organizational. One or more of these areas may be affecting your relationship.
EMOTIONAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
We abandon ourselves emotionally in four major ways:
1. We judge ourselves rather than accept ourselves.
2. We ignore our feelings by staying up in our head rather than being present in our body, especially our painful feelings of loneliness, heartache, heartbreak, and grief.
3. We turn to various addictions to numb the anxiety, depression, guilt, shame and anger that we cause when we judge ourselves and ignore our feelings.
4. We make others responsible for our feelings.
Once we emotionally abandon ourselves and make others responsible for our feelings, then we need to try to control them to get them to love us and make us feel worthy. Trying to control another with anger, blame, criticism, compliance, or withdrawal creates many problems in relationships.
FINANCIAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
When we refuse to take care of ourselves financially, instead expecting our partner to take financial responsibility for us, this can create problems. This is not a problem if your partner agrees to take financial responsibility for you and you fully accept how he or she takes this responsibility, but if you choose to be financially irresponsible, much conflict can occur over your self-abandonment.
ORGANIZATIONAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
If you refuse to take responsibility for your own time and space, instead being consistently late or being a clutterer, and your partner is an on-time and/or neat person, this can create huge power struggles.
PHYSICAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
If you refuse to take care of yourself physically, instead eating badly and not exercising and possibly causing yourself health problems, your partner may feel resentful at having to take care of you. Your physical self-abandonment not only has negative consequences for you regarding your health and well being, but it also has unwanted consequences for your partner, which can lead to much conflict and power struggles.
RELATIONAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
If you refuse to speak up for yourself in your relationship, instead either giving yourself up or resisting, you are eroding the love in the relationship. When you abandon yourself to another through compliance or resistance, you create a lack of trust that leads to conflict and resentment.
SPIRITUAL SELF-ABANDONMENT
When you make your partner your dependable source of love rather than learning to turn to a spiritual source for your dependable source of love, you place a very unfair burden on your partner. When your intent in the relationship is to get love rather than to share love, then you will pull on your partner for attention, approval, time, or sex. When you do not take responsibility for learning how to connect with a spiritual source of sustenance, your neediness can create much conflict in the relationship.
LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF RATHER THAN ABANDON YOURSELF
When you decide to learn to love yourself rather than continue to abandon yourself, you will discover how to create a loving relationship with your partner. Practicing Inner Bonding® is a very powerful way of learning to love yourself!
7 Signs Your Wife is Cheating
There are times when you may suspect that your wife is cheating. Instead of living in a state of doubt and suspicion, you should know the important signs that will help you to determine that she is indeed cheating. However, you should not jump to conclusions when you see one or two signs, as there may well be another valid reason. However, when you see almost all of them, it is time to watch out and make necessary corrections in good time.
Here are the important signs that will show you that your wife is cheating.
1. She no longer discusses her day with you
In general, women tend to be more open and share about how their days have been. If your wife used to do this but she has suddenly turned rather mum, it indicates that something is wrong somewhere. It shows that she does not want you to know what is going on with her life. However, this may be due to other reasons, so you should take time to find out the truth instead of labeling her as a cheat. Try to ask her about how her day has been and note the way she responds.
2. She shows unusually high interest in you
Your wife will try to cover her tracks by making you believe that she is very interested in you. She may ask almost everything about your life and schedule – something that she used to take for granted. This may be her way of stopping you from focusing on her own life.
3. Increased temperament
There are hormonal changes in a woman’s life that tends to make her become more temperamental on some occasions. However, when you notice that her state seems to get too far, chances are that there is another reason. This could be because she has started an affair, so you need to take time to find out what is really making her that temperamental. But you need to be very tactful to avoid blowing up an already explosive situation.
4. Lack of emotional attachment
When you feel that your wife is getting emotionally detached from you in spite of your efforts to the contrary, it could be that she is withdrawing because she feels hurt. The guilt feelings that she may have can easily make her build up emotional barriers between you. You should determine what it is that makes her draw away from you, whether it is something you have done or she has done.
5. Lack of interest in spending time together
If your wife used to enjoy spending time with you but she no longer makes any effort, this is a warning signal. Perhaps she used to try very hard to get your attention, including prying you from the TV. If this does not happen any more, it could be that she enjoys her time with another person.
6. Withdrawal from sex
Sex and emotional attachment goes hand in hand in women, and such a withdrawal will show that she has become distant from you.
7. Increased interest in her appearance
If she suddenly develops a great interest in how she looks, it may be because she is trying to look great for another person.
Here are the important signs that will show you that your wife is cheating.
1. She no longer discusses her day with you
In general, women tend to be more open and share about how their days have been. If your wife used to do this but she has suddenly turned rather mum, it indicates that something is wrong somewhere. It shows that she does not want you to know what is going on with her life. However, this may be due to other reasons, so you should take time to find out the truth instead of labeling her as a cheat. Try to ask her about how her day has been and note the way she responds.
2. She shows unusually high interest in you
Your wife will try to cover her tracks by making you believe that she is very interested in you. She may ask almost everything about your life and schedule – something that she used to take for granted. This may be her way of stopping you from focusing on her own life.
3. Increased temperament
There are hormonal changes in a woman’s life that tends to make her become more temperamental on some occasions. However, when you notice that her state seems to get too far, chances are that there is another reason. This could be because she has started an affair, so you need to take time to find out what is really making her that temperamental. But you need to be very tactful to avoid blowing up an already explosive situation.
4. Lack of emotional attachment
When you feel that your wife is getting emotionally detached from you in spite of your efforts to the contrary, it could be that she is withdrawing because she feels hurt. The guilt feelings that she may have can easily make her build up emotional barriers between you. You should determine what it is that makes her draw away from you, whether it is something you have done or she has done.
5. Lack of interest in spending time together
If your wife used to enjoy spending time with you but she no longer makes any effort, this is a warning signal. Perhaps she used to try very hard to get your attention, including prying you from the TV. If this does not happen any more, it could be that she enjoys her time with another person.
6. Withdrawal from sex
Sex and emotional attachment goes hand in hand in women, and such a withdrawal will show that she has become distant from you.
7. Increased interest in her appearance
If she suddenly develops a great interest in how she looks, it may be because she is trying to look great for another person.
5 Things to Make Marriage Work after Cheating
There is no dispute on the fact that cheating is a very painful experience that shakes at the root of marriage. However, it does not necessarily need to end in a breakup. There are five important things that help to make marriage work after cheating has taken place. These things are what can make the difference between the success and failure of your relationship. It is just that many people do not think of them when faced with such a situation.
If you have been searching for a way that can bring back the sparkle in your marriage after cheating, then you will find your answer here. Here are the things that work wonders in your relationship.
Be humble
Cheating is a sensitive issue, and it requires humility to salvage your relationship. Cheating creates a major blow to your marriage, and you need to be humble if you want to restore your relationship. It is not something that you will simply brush off. Be prepared to go to great lengths to make up with your spouse.
Be compassionate
If you cheated on your spouse, the decision to go to another person must have taken its toll on you. However, you should not just think about yourself if you want to make up. Try to understand how your spouse feels with the knowledge of your betrayal of trust. If you were in that position, how would you have felt? Although you may feel that you could have handled things differently, you should understand that your spouse never expected you to cheat in the first place. You will only make the matters worse if you do not handle the situation with compassion.
Be strong
This has nothing to with physical strength. You will need to be strong-willed and have great emotional strength regardless of who cheated in your relationship. Wading through the powerful tides of cheating requires a lot of commitment. Go for the reconciliation with all your heart without holding any part of you back.
Make Plans
One of the things that could have tipped your marriage over is lack of planning. You need to make sound plans if you want to weather the storms of cheating and restore your relationship. Make joint plans with your spouse, which will give you something to look forward to. Set goals for several years ahead and be committed to attaining them. This is not just planning for some financial investments, for instance. You need to chart a course that you want your relationship to follow. Where would you like your marriage to go? Set goals and then make corresponding plans to realize the goals.
Forgive
When cheating takes place, each partner can easily point a finger at the other. You need to forgive yourself first of all because of your affair. You should as well forgive your spouse for failing to be the epitome of perfection. Move on without any grudges.
If you have been searching for a way that can bring back the sparkle in your marriage after cheating, then you will find your answer here. Here are the things that work wonders in your relationship.
Be humble
Cheating is a sensitive issue, and it requires humility to salvage your relationship. Cheating creates a major blow to your marriage, and you need to be humble if you want to restore your relationship. It is not something that you will simply brush off. Be prepared to go to great lengths to make up with your spouse.
Be compassionate
If you cheated on your spouse, the decision to go to another person must have taken its toll on you. However, you should not just think about yourself if you want to make up. Try to understand how your spouse feels with the knowledge of your betrayal of trust. If you were in that position, how would you have felt? Although you may feel that you could have handled things differently, you should understand that your spouse never expected you to cheat in the first place. You will only make the matters worse if you do not handle the situation with compassion.
Be strong
This has nothing to with physical strength. You will need to be strong-willed and have great emotional strength regardless of who cheated in your relationship. Wading through the powerful tides of cheating requires a lot of commitment. Go for the reconciliation with all your heart without holding any part of you back.
Make Plans
One of the things that could have tipped your marriage over is lack of planning. You need to make sound plans if you want to weather the storms of cheating and restore your relationship. Make joint plans with your spouse, which will give you something to look forward to. Set goals for several years ahead and be committed to attaining them. This is not just planning for some financial investments, for instance. You need to chart a course that you want your relationship to follow. Where would you like your marriage to go? Set goals and then make corresponding plans to realize the goals.
Forgive
When cheating takes place, each partner can easily point a finger at the other. You need to forgive yourself first of all because of your affair. You should as well forgive your spouse for failing to be the epitome of perfection. Move on without any grudges.
2012年8月27日星期一
Why Men Dump Women
For a woman being dump by a man can be a total bummer not to mention embarrassing. We can’t exactly pinpoint why men dump women because there can be several factors involved like incompatibility, beliefs, culture and many others. And these factors are given; you cannot force yourself into someone you are not compatible with, right? However, if you believe that you have done everything you could and yet still unable to let your man stay in the relationship then ask yourself if you are guilty of the common reasons why men dump women.
The“Me, myself and I” syndrome. It’s all about you, you, you and you. You don’t consider his feelings; you don’t take care of him when he is sick. You don’t help him carry the grocery bag, you don’t listen to him and worst you don’t wait for him to climax after you had yours.
Men cannot stand selfishness, so if you think your man is keeping his distance, ask yourself when was the last time you prioritized him. Another reason that you will definitely get dumped by your man is if you cannot keep your word. You tell him this and yet do another.
You are constantly tardy and you always keep him hanging. Worst, you give fallacious excuses. In other words, you cannot tell a simple truth. It doesn’t matter if you look like Angelina Jolie; you will get dumped if you cannot get your story straight. Chronic or pathological liars drive men away like crazy.
Another sure fire reason why men dump women is by being a control freak. Was there a time that he invited you to dinner and it took you the whole fifteen minutes reiterating to the waiter how you want your salad done? Or he invited you to a day at the beach but you refused because you don’t want the wind messing up your hair? You will never change your schedule for anything, unplanned trips is never an option.
Spontaneity scares you. Men dump women if they are a complete nag and a complainer. I know that you want the best for your lover that is why you constantly correct him. Do you find yourself telling him this regularly? “Why can’t you….?” or “Do you ever do this or that…?” If you do, then don’t be surprise if your guy is becoming elusive by the minute.
This is because you make him feel that he cannot do anything right. A word of advice, woman, you cannot get your message across if you nag him, learn to boost his ego and he is all ears. The secret here is to try to be a little more comfortable with yourself, be a little happier and livelier.
Do this and you will become an instant man magnet.
The“Me, myself and I” syndrome. It’s all about you, you, you and you. You don’t consider his feelings; you don’t take care of him when he is sick. You don’t help him carry the grocery bag, you don’t listen to him and worst you don’t wait for him to climax after you had yours.
Men cannot stand selfishness, so if you think your man is keeping his distance, ask yourself when was the last time you prioritized him. Another reason that you will definitely get dumped by your man is if you cannot keep your word. You tell him this and yet do another.
You are constantly tardy and you always keep him hanging. Worst, you give fallacious excuses. In other words, you cannot tell a simple truth. It doesn’t matter if you look like Angelina Jolie; you will get dumped if you cannot get your story straight. Chronic or pathological liars drive men away like crazy.
Another sure fire reason why men dump women is by being a control freak. Was there a time that he invited you to dinner and it took you the whole fifteen minutes reiterating to the waiter how you want your salad done? Or he invited you to a day at the beach but you refused because you don’t want the wind messing up your hair? You will never change your schedule for anything, unplanned trips is never an option.
Spontaneity scares you. Men dump women if they are a complete nag and a complainer. I know that you want the best for your lover that is why you constantly correct him. Do you find yourself telling him this regularly? “Why can’t you….?” or “Do you ever do this or that…?” If you do, then don’t be surprise if your guy is becoming elusive by the minute.
This is because you make him feel that he cannot do anything right. A word of advice, woman, you cannot get your message across if you nag him, learn to boost his ego and he is all ears. The secret here is to try to be a little more comfortable with yourself, be a little happier and livelier.
Do this and you will become an instant man magnet.
Should I Call Him If He Doesn't Call?
Although relationships break up in a variety of ways, the process of making up always begin by getting in contact with the estranged partner. You may therefore be asking yourself: "Should I call him?" This is an issue that disturbs many women, as women are always taught NEVER to call the men.
When you are asking yourself "Should I call him?" there are other measures you should take first. While it is not a crime to call your ex boyfriend, the way you go about it may either bring him closer or drive him further away. You should learn how you can make your ex boyfriend miss you before you decide to pick up the phone. If you are asking: "Should I call him?" you should consider the following things first.
* Make it appear as if you are no longer interested in the relationship.
If you give the impression that you are in hot pursuit after your ex boyfriend, you will just succeed in making him run faster - away from you! People, particularly the men, would like to have things they cannot get. You will therefore have better chances if you appear to be out of his reach.
When you keep pestering your ex boyfriend about getting back together, he will not make any effort since he knows you will always be there for you whenever he feels like it. This will just work against you.
As much as you would like to restore your broken relationship, you should not let appear as if you are desperate. Let your ex see that you have other things to occupy your mind and you are not just sitting around waiting for him. Do not be mistaken to think that doing this will make him lose interest in you.
When he does not see you going after him, he will be curious and would be interested in finding out the reason behind it. This will draw him closer instead of driving him away.
If you are wondering: "Should I call him?" you should first of all take calculated measures to make him miss you. This means that you should stay strong no matter how painful the break-up is. Let your ex boyfriend know that you are not against the breakup at all. Be certain that it will get back to him when you tell others how happy you are with the breakup. This will make you become more appealing to him.
* Avoid getting in touch with your ex
When you are asking yourself: "Should I call him?" you instead strive to break any kind of contact with your ex boyfriend, not just calling. Do not get in touch with your ex boyfriend in any way. Instead of asking "Should I call him?" you should be asking yourself when he is going to call you.
Get completely out of his life. Do not even tell him yourself that you are happy with the breakup. If you would like your ex boyfriend to get back to you, you should remain silent and let your life remain mysterious.
It is when you do this that he will begin to miss you. This will make your ex think that you are slipping out of his life, and he will become more interested. It will be more interesting for him to break the relationship when you keep chasing after him. However, you will remove all the fun when you seem to go after your own life.
* Make him call you up instead
When your relationship breaks up, you will struggle with the question: "Should I call Him?" You may also be wondering how long you need to wait before you finally pick up the phone.
If you are concerned with this question, you should understand that you will help to push him further away when you pester him with restoring your broken relationship. Breaking up makes the men feel odd, and they also need some time alone to get over the situation. Yet this is the time when you will feel a great urge to call him up.
If you are asking yourself: "Should I call him?" because he has not called, the reason could be that he want space to come to terms with the situation. However, to restore your relationship, you will need to get in touch at some point. The trick is to know when you should do it. But the most appropriate scenario is when you influence him to call you up instead. You should therefore hold back to make it him curious.
When you are asking yourself "Should I call him?" there are other measures you should take first. While it is not a crime to call your ex boyfriend, the way you go about it may either bring him closer or drive him further away. You should learn how you can make your ex boyfriend miss you before you decide to pick up the phone. If you are asking: "Should I call him?" you should consider the following things first.
* Make it appear as if you are no longer interested in the relationship.
If you give the impression that you are in hot pursuit after your ex boyfriend, you will just succeed in making him run faster - away from you! People, particularly the men, would like to have things they cannot get. You will therefore have better chances if you appear to be out of his reach.
When you keep pestering your ex boyfriend about getting back together, he will not make any effort since he knows you will always be there for you whenever he feels like it. This will just work against you.
As much as you would like to restore your broken relationship, you should not let appear as if you are desperate. Let your ex see that you have other things to occupy your mind and you are not just sitting around waiting for him. Do not be mistaken to think that doing this will make him lose interest in you.
When he does not see you going after him, he will be curious and would be interested in finding out the reason behind it. This will draw him closer instead of driving him away.
If you are wondering: "Should I call him?" you should first of all take calculated measures to make him miss you. This means that you should stay strong no matter how painful the break-up is. Let your ex boyfriend know that you are not against the breakup at all. Be certain that it will get back to him when you tell others how happy you are with the breakup. This will make you become more appealing to him.
* Avoid getting in touch with your ex
When you are asking yourself: "Should I call him?" you instead strive to break any kind of contact with your ex boyfriend, not just calling. Do not get in touch with your ex boyfriend in any way. Instead of asking "Should I call him?" you should be asking yourself when he is going to call you.
Get completely out of his life. Do not even tell him yourself that you are happy with the breakup. If you would like your ex boyfriend to get back to you, you should remain silent and let your life remain mysterious.
It is when you do this that he will begin to miss you. This will make your ex think that you are slipping out of his life, and he will become more interested. It will be more interesting for him to break the relationship when you keep chasing after him. However, you will remove all the fun when you seem to go after your own life.
* Make him call you up instead
When your relationship breaks up, you will struggle with the question: "Should I call Him?" You may also be wondering how long you need to wait before you finally pick up the phone.
If you are concerned with this question, you should understand that you will help to push him further away when you pester him with restoring your broken relationship. Breaking up makes the men feel odd, and they also need some time alone to get over the situation. Yet this is the time when you will feel a great urge to call him up.
If you are asking yourself: "Should I call him?" because he has not called, the reason could be that he want space to come to terms with the situation. However, to restore your relationship, you will need to get in touch at some point. The trick is to know when you should do it. But the most appropriate scenario is when you influence him to call you up instead. You should therefore hold back to make it him curious.
Talk To Him Now; Know How To Make Him Call You!
Your Mr Right - How to Make Him Call You!
How to make him call you when you think that you've found your Mr Right? This is something that many women are having problem and confused with guy they are attracted to. Probably you met this Mr Right long back online and you both had a casual date. He looked so handsome and very decent. However, you are not sure if he would call you again or not and you did not want to make a first move. You don't know what is your next move.
I can say it was about ego. After the first date you came home and you are so obsessed with him. His voice was husky and he sounded sexy, no wonder why you were obsessed with him. Moreover, he was a gentleman, he reminded you of some medieval knight, filled with chivalry.
You have everything in your hands if you meet someone you like! You do not have to wait for him to make a first move; you can break the ice by calling him just for a casual talk. Take the initiative and do not bother about your ego. Call him and ask him how he is and how is everything. Tell him frankly that you have had been thinking about him lately and he is one of the best persons you met so far. This will make him feel a bit comfortable. It is not compulsory that he will call you back again. If you do not hear from him for the next two days, do not panic. Do not think in a negative way such as “I guess he is not interested in me” or “maybe he's already taken”. No, this might not be the reason. Reasons could be anything and maybe he is busy in his work or family or could be anything. Give him some time, for at least a week.
If he doesn't call you, do not call him back to show you are desperate. Make the man curious to know more about you. You have to know that men are sensitive towards women emotionally and if you do not keep in touch with him, he will, for sure think the same way as you have thought about him. Now, you have to learn how to give him a reason to call you! When everything turns its back on you, do not panic but wait for him to call you, no matter what, let the guy call you and ask about you.
How to make him call you when you think that you've found your Mr Right? This is something that many women are having problem and confused with guy they are attracted to. Probably you met this Mr Right long back online and you both had a casual date. He looked so handsome and very decent. However, you are not sure if he would call you again or not and you did not want to make a first move. You don't know what is your next move.
I can say it was about ego. After the first date you came home and you are so obsessed with him. His voice was husky and he sounded sexy, no wonder why you were obsessed with him. Moreover, he was a gentleman, he reminded you of some medieval knight, filled with chivalry.
You have everything in your hands if you meet someone you like! You do not have to wait for him to make a first move; you can break the ice by calling him just for a casual talk. Take the initiative and do not bother about your ego. Call him and ask him how he is and how is everything. Tell him frankly that you have had been thinking about him lately and he is one of the best persons you met so far. This will make him feel a bit comfortable. It is not compulsory that he will call you back again. If you do not hear from him for the next two days, do not panic. Do not think in a negative way such as “I guess he is not interested in me” or “maybe he's already taken”. No, this might not be the reason. Reasons could be anything and maybe he is busy in his work or family or could be anything. Give him some time, for at least a week.
If he doesn't call you, do not call him back to show you are desperate. Make the man curious to know more about you. You have to know that men are sensitive towards women emotionally and if you do not keep in touch with him, he will, for sure think the same way as you have thought about him. Now, you have to learn how to give him a reason to call you! When everything turns its back on you, do not panic but wait for him to call you, no matter what, let the guy call you and ask about you.
But, You Don't Know My Ex!
This is one of the most common comments heard when talking with people about an Ex. Those of us who are parents and inside a Complex Family often have an Ex, and we normally believe it is near impossible to get on with them. Let's face it, it didn't work when we were married or partners, so why would it now? But it needs too - if only for the kid's sake!
It doesn't matter what age our children are (including adult-children) our kids have two parents. The two parents are people they have the right to love as they choose and not as we want them to. If the Ex is really that difficult, our kids will work it out soon enough. It is not our job to help them see the flaws in our Ex, it is our job to help them learn how to deal with flaws when they naturally discover them. Think about it, if roles were reversed what would you like to have happen?
Most parents will talk about some weekends away when your kids come back with stories which make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. This doesn't mean that we need to make it all wrong, it doesn't mean we react to something we judge as stupid or foolish. Sometimes the most sincere mouth-piece will still leave out vital perspective, and do not underestimate how they could say things just to get a point across because they know it winds us up. Further still, sometimes our kids are just telling a story and we need to lighten up and let it go.
Parents are parents - typically doing the best with all we have. Even adult children would rather be able to mouth-off at us about the frustrations with our Ex and have us stay relatively neutral. They would prefer to be given the freedom to voice at someone who knows without suddenly being in a position where they are compelled to defend the very one they want to complain about.
A point worth noting: There is one thing about being a parent that we will all do - stuff up from time to time. We have all had our days where we've torn a strip of a kid for losing the 5th pair of shoes in three months, only to later realise it wasn't anything to do with them. We've all made poor judgement calls and our kids have also worn the brunt of the frustration. It's not their job to become judge and jury about who is right and wrong when it comes to their parent's worlds. They want the opportunity to have it as - it just is. Half the time they cannot be bothered taking sides or getting all ferocious about the differences because it's not their problem.
It affects our children if we continue to hold the view that we have the worst Ex. The Ex may be a complete pain, but provided what they are doing is not life-threatening, seriously emotionally or physically damaging, it's best to do all you can to make the relationship work. A way of doing this is no negative comments - regardless! It's a tough pill to swallow sometimes but it's a potent one. It allows your children to be truly free to feeling their own sense, rather than only hearing what you are telling them.
So when it comes to the Ex, even if you are struggling to let go, it's best to leave them to live their own life and you turn, focus on living yours. It is a true display of character to be supportive of your Ex when they've stuffed up and the kids tell you about it (and they do!). Just smile, knowing that you are now Ex's to each other.
Warmest :o)
Jill Darcey
It doesn't matter what age our children are (including adult-children) our kids have two parents. The two parents are people they have the right to love as they choose and not as we want them to. If the Ex is really that difficult, our kids will work it out soon enough. It is not our job to help them see the flaws in our Ex, it is our job to help them learn how to deal with flaws when they naturally discover them. Think about it, if roles were reversed what would you like to have happen?
Most parents will talk about some weekends away when your kids come back with stories which make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. This doesn't mean that we need to make it all wrong, it doesn't mean we react to something we judge as stupid or foolish. Sometimes the most sincere mouth-piece will still leave out vital perspective, and do not underestimate how they could say things just to get a point across because they know it winds us up. Further still, sometimes our kids are just telling a story and we need to lighten up and let it go.
Parents are parents - typically doing the best with all we have. Even adult children would rather be able to mouth-off at us about the frustrations with our Ex and have us stay relatively neutral. They would prefer to be given the freedom to voice at someone who knows without suddenly being in a position where they are compelled to defend the very one they want to complain about.
A point worth noting: There is one thing about being a parent that we will all do - stuff up from time to time. We have all had our days where we've torn a strip of a kid for losing the 5th pair of shoes in three months, only to later realise it wasn't anything to do with them. We've all made poor judgement calls and our kids have also worn the brunt of the frustration. It's not their job to become judge and jury about who is right and wrong when it comes to their parent's worlds. They want the opportunity to have it as - it just is. Half the time they cannot be bothered taking sides or getting all ferocious about the differences because it's not their problem.
It affects our children if we continue to hold the view that we have the worst Ex. The Ex may be a complete pain, but provided what they are doing is not life-threatening, seriously emotionally or physically damaging, it's best to do all you can to make the relationship work. A way of doing this is no negative comments - regardless! It's a tough pill to swallow sometimes but it's a potent one. It allows your children to be truly free to feeling their own sense, rather than only hearing what you are telling them.
So when it comes to the Ex, even if you are struggling to let go, it's best to leave them to live their own life and you turn, focus on living yours. It is a true display of character to be supportive of your Ex when they've stuffed up and the kids tell you about it (and they do!). Just smile, knowing that you are now Ex's to each other.
Warmest :o)
Jill Darcey
2012年8月26日星期日
The Abc’s Of Marriage: Not A Child’s Play
Communication - if handled well it can give a lifetime’s worth of happiness. Needless to say it is essential to any kind of relationship. It can strengthen any bond, maintain a loving companionship and reconcile tarnished partnerships. It can also bridge long lost amity. On the other hand, if not handled well and miscommunication happens, it can break any tie, destroy any kind of friendship and can further heat up disagreements.
It is a pillar of every relationship. Miscommunication is the root of all misunderstandings. If one knows how to communicate properly, peace of mind and harmony is easy to achieve. There are different kinds of communication- verbal, nonverbal and written. He says- she says. Verbal communication, the most perennial of them all.
This is where we use speaking as medium and listening is required. When we need something we use this kind. This is where all romance begins. When we say what we feel and vocalize our vows and promises. This is what we use when we give assurance and say “I love you” or “I care for you”.
When we want to convince someone talking is the best way to do it. Conversation is a form of verbal communication; we exchange ideas and tackle issues, make compromises until we reached a certain agreement. A person who is very lucid and magnificent in using this kind of communication, he or she can easily persuade a person or a crowd.
This is of no surprise why politicians, con man and gigolos are experts in this area. Verbal communication is also the most abused in all forms. People use this to lie and deceive others. Master this technique and you can own the world. Nonverbal communication is when we use body language to convey a message.
This kind of communication speaks a thousand words but does not require talking. Unlike verbal communication, this is the most sincere. Body language is hard to fake; it takes conscious effort to sham body language. For instance, when we agree with someone we involuntarily nod our head same when we shake our head when we disagree with something or someone.
A smile, for example, is universal language and can break all barriers. Of all kinds of communication, nonverbal is the most pleasurable of all. Nothing beats saying I love you than an adoring look, a warm hug, and a passionate kiss. When one is a master of body language, they are a master of reading people- a powerful advantage if you want to get ahead in work or a to have successful relationship.
Let us go to written communication. Today, written communications have evolved. With email, instant messaging and text messaging everybody is closer wherever in the planet you are located. The written word can contain so much, and communicating through this means can also express much. In a relationship, it can do or undo.
For one who knows how to use the power of words to render meaning, they can live an imprinted legacy which can last. Messages and how we get them across build or destroy, not only relationships, but persons in general.
It is a pillar of every relationship. Miscommunication is the root of all misunderstandings. If one knows how to communicate properly, peace of mind and harmony is easy to achieve. There are different kinds of communication- verbal, nonverbal and written. He says- she says. Verbal communication, the most perennial of them all.
This is where we use speaking as medium and listening is required. When we need something we use this kind. This is where all romance begins. When we say what we feel and vocalize our vows and promises. This is what we use when we give assurance and say “I love you” or “I care for you”.
When we want to convince someone talking is the best way to do it. Conversation is a form of verbal communication; we exchange ideas and tackle issues, make compromises until we reached a certain agreement. A person who is very lucid and magnificent in using this kind of communication, he or she can easily persuade a person or a crowd.
This is of no surprise why politicians, con man and gigolos are experts in this area. Verbal communication is also the most abused in all forms. People use this to lie and deceive others. Master this technique and you can own the world. Nonverbal communication is when we use body language to convey a message.
This kind of communication speaks a thousand words but does not require talking. Unlike verbal communication, this is the most sincere. Body language is hard to fake; it takes conscious effort to sham body language. For instance, when we agree with someone we involuntarily nod our head same when we shake our head when we disagree with something or someone.
A smile, for example, is universal language and can break all barriers. Of all kinds of communication, nonverbal is the most pleasurable of all. Nothing beats saying I love you than an adoring look, a warm hug, and a passionate kiss. When one is a master of body language, they are a master of reading people- a powerful advantage if you want to get ahead in work or a to have successful relationship.
Let us go to written communication. Today, written communications have evolved. With email, instant messaging and text messaging everybody is closer wherever in the planet you are located. The written word can contain so much, and communicating through this means can also express much. In a relationship, it can do or undo.
For one who knows how to use the power of words to render meaning, they can live an imprinted legacy which can last. Messages and how we get them across build or destroy, not only relationships, but persons in general.
How to Know by the 3 Obvious Signs That Will Tell You If a Man Likes You
3 Obvious Signs That Tells A Man Likes You
There are many ways through which you can make out if a man likes you or not and here are 3 obvious signs that will tell you if a man likes you. Feelings are mysterious and they are not physical but emotional. To understand one’s feelings and emotions, you have to feel it rather than just dreaming and wondering. Some men do not admit if they like their women or not. If your man is waiting for you to make the first move, then you have to know that he is one of a kind who waits for the girl to approach him first.
If you want to know if your man is interested in your or not, you have to understand through various ways. If the guy is your friends’ friend and if he has just met you, then it might be very easy for you to judge his intentions and you can tell by the 3 obvious signs that will tell you if a man likes you:
1) Eye-Contact: Watch him! Observe him! If he is interested in you, then for sure he will steal glances. When you are not looking at him, he will look at you and will observe you. However, you have to make sure which body part he is looking. If you notice he is staring at your breasts and waist or feet, then know that he is interested in sleeping with you, but if he is observing your ways and eyes, then obviously he wants to make you his life-partner.
2) Conversation: The guy will come to you and start up a conversation, though others might find it stupid but he will not care. He will just talk on anything because his main intention is to be with you, to talk to you. This shows how eager he is to start a conversation with you. In this situation, you have to continue talking, on anything whatever he is talking. This shows that you are also interested in him and he will feel comfortable and will talk more.
3) Stays Cool: He is nervous! You and the guy both know this but he will try his best to keep his cool and will show you how confident he is but you can make it out that he is a bit hesitant in talking. In this, you have to make sure that you do not make him feel nervous but you talk to him freely.
There are many ways through which you can make out if a man likes you or not and here are 3 obvious signs that will tell you if a man likes you. Feelings are mysterious and they are not physical but emotional. To understand one’s feelings and emotions, you have to feel it rather than just dreaming and wondering. Some men do not admit if they like their women or not. If your man is waiting for you to make the first move, then you have to know that he is one of a kind who waits for the girl to approach him first.
If you want to know if your man is interested in your or not, you have to understand through various ways. If the guy is your friends’ friend and if he has just met you, then it might be very easy for you to judge his intentions and you can tell by the 3 obvious signs that will tell you if a man likes you:
1) Eye-Contact: Watch him! Observe him! If he is interested in you, then for sure he will steal glances. When you are not looking at him, he will look at you and will observe you. However, you have to make sure which body part he is looking. If you notice he is staring at your breasts and waist or feet, then know that he is interested in sleeping with you, but if he is observing your ways and eyes, then obviously he wants to make you his life-partner.
2) Conversation: The guy will come to you and start up a conversation, though others might find it stupid but he will not care. He will just talk on anything because his main intention is to be with you, to talk to you. This shows how eager he is to start a conversation with you. In this situation, you have to continue talking, on anything whatever he is talking. This shows that you are also interested in him and he will feel comfortable and will talk more.
3) Stays Cool: He is nervous! You and the guy both know this but he will try his best to keep his cool and will show you how confident he is but you can make it out that he is a bit hesitant in talking. In this, you have to make sure that you do not make him feel nervous but you talk to him freely.
Get Back With Your Ex - Does The No Contact Rule Work! Critical Help And Advice To Get Her To Come Back
If you've decided to get back with your ex, then there is no doubt this can be a difficult course of action. As I'm sure you understand women can be extremely emotional when compared with men. And so you could never be sure when she is going to take something the wrong way and fly off the deep end at you again. And this is what makes it so tough, in spite of you trying to justify anything you did incorrectly and asking her to forgive you.
Don't discount the fact some women can be plain spiteful and wish to see their boyfriend wriggle on the hook. Consequently from here on in you are walking on egg shells, a single stumble and everything becomes a bigger mess than before. Your close friends will endeavour to help and invest there Penny's worth, but ultimately you're the one who will either get back with your ex or lose her once and for all.
I'm certain you have come across the no contact rule? This rule is often regularly advised for a while now by relationship experts because it succeeds 9 times out of ten. Fundamentally it means that you have no connection with your ex at all, therefore telephone calls, e-mail and text messages are out. Don't pretend to run into her accidentally and whatever you do, please do not stalk her. The main reason this succeeds so effectively is actually because, if there is no contact you cannot say or do the wrong thing that will upset her furthermore than she currently is. You quite literally fade from her radar and provide her time to sort things out.
Even when this is happening you will find out if you've the possibility to get back with your ex, or it will be a case of moving on with your life. It could be that she still cares for you and may simply be teaching you a lesson, If that is so the distance between the two of you might induce her to fall in love with you once more. Since you were man enough to allow her some time and space, she's going to also respect you for that.
Then again she may well reach the conclusion you have decided to call it quits and the relationship is now over. Suppose that is the situation, since she's lost you it's going to set off her feelings to boot into gear in another way. She is going to panic and get irritated that you've found someone else, and this will make her start looking for you.
At this point she has had a taste of her own medicine she will come running and stating her undying love for you. At this point don't be silly trying to play hard to get or make her suffer for running you thru the mangle. Take stock and be satisfied you are in a position to get back with your ex plus be grateful as well for the no contact rule.
Don't discount the fact some women can be plain spiteful and wish to see their boyfriend wriggle on the hook. Consequently from here on in you are walking on egg shells, a single stumble and everything becomes a bigger mess than before. Your close friends will endeavour to help and invest there Penny's worth, but ultimately you're the one who will either get back with your ex or lose her once and for all.
I'm certain you have come across the no contact rule? This rule is often regularly advised for a while now by relationship experts because it succeeds 9 times out of ten. Fundamentally it means that you have no connection with your ex at all, therefore telephone calls, e-mail and text messages are out. Don't pretend to run into her accidentally and whatever you do, please do not stalk her. The main reason this succeeds so effectively is actually because, if there is no contact you cannot say or do the wrong thing that will upset her furthermore than she currently is. You quite literally fade from her radar and provide her time to sort things out.
Even when this is happening you will find out if you've the possibility to get back with your ex, or it will be a case of moving on with your life. It could be that she still cares for you and may simply be teaching you a lesson, If that is so the distance between the two of you might induce her to fall in love with you once more. Since you were man enough to allow her some time and space, she's going to also respect you for that.
Then again she may well reach the conclusion you have decided to call it quits and the relationship is now over. Suppose that is the situation, since she's lost you it's going to set off her feelings to boot into gear in another way. She is going to panic and get irritated that you've found someone else, and this will make her start looking for you.
At this point she has had a taste of her own medicine she will come running and stating her undying love for you. At this point don't be silly trying to play hard to get or make her suffer for running you thru the mangle. Take stock and be satisfied you are in a position to get back with your ex plus be grateful as well for the no contact rule.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online Search: Search Marital Records Easily
Doing A Public Marriage Divorce Records Online Search The Easy Way
Thousands of people are looking to find public marriage divorce records online every day. A few people do a marital records search for a few factors. They can desire to make sure the person they're about to marry remains single. Others might need to look up certain data they need to process a few papers regarding divorce. And a few desire to acquire public marriage divorce records online simply for safekeeping factors.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online Search - Why You Need To Know? -
Regardless of your reason is, the fact remains the same: conducting a public marriage divorce records online search is crucial. It doesn't solely offer you answers regarding marriage, it might also come in handy in case of legal proceedings. Inspecting your boyfriend or girlfriend's marriage history is important to avoid marrying an currently married individual. If you already know that he was married before, better recognize the explanations for their split up and the number of times he has been divorced. Doing this will definitely inform you much regarding the individual.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online - How To find The Information You Need? -
Finding Public marriage divorce records online all over the Web would help you avoid getting into a relationship together with a married person. However you can't avail of this help unless you begin doing all of your own marital records search. If your partner has been married and got divorced, you'll find out how long they were together and the way consistent he was within the relationship. A few people are suspecting their own partners. In this case, conducting a search would offer them peace of mind, which is important to start off a successful and prosperous relationship.
As soon as you have decided to do a public marriage divorce records online search, you need several details. First, you'll be required to type within the date of marriage and the location. Should you do not know where the wedding took place, try to use the place of birth of one of the couple. The wedding is more doubtless to take place inside the state where the couple was born, although that's still probable. Better have a basis for your search than doing all of your investigation without knowing anything.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online - Will There Be A Fee? -
Similarly, if you do not know when the marriage happened, attempt estimating dates based mostly from what you know regarding the person involved. Though succeeding within this form of technique has to do together with a little luck, it'd still be better than having no chance at all. In a few countries and states within the US, marriage records are automatically carried over to websites for convenient search. But, these websites often charge fees for their information.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online - Conclusion -
Knowing everything regarding the person you're in a relationship with is an crucial component toward marriage. As soon as you have carried out your marital records search on that person, you'll have the ability to understand him better while you're building your family. Certainly it can go along way to putting your mind at rest when you conduct a public marriage divorce records online search.
Thousands of people are looking to find public marriage divorce records online every day. A few people do a marital records search for a few factors. They can desire to make sure the person they're about to marry remains single. Others might need to look up certain data they need to process a few papers regarding divorce. And a few desire to acquire public marriage divorce records online simply for safekeeping factors.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online Search - Why You Need To Know? -
Regardless of your reason is, the fact remains the same: conducting a public marriage divorce records online search is crucial. It doesn't solely offer you answers regarding marriage, it might also come in handy in case of legal proceedings. Inspecting your boyfriend or girlfriend's marriage history is important to avoid marrying an currently married individual. If you already know that he was married before, better recognize the explanations for their split up and the number of times he has been divorced. Doing this will definitely inform you much regarding the individual.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online - How To find The Information You Need? -
Finding Public marriage divorce records online all over the Web would help you avoid getting into a relationship together with a married person. However you can't avail of this help unless you begin doing all of your own marital records search. If your partner has been married and got divorced, you'll find out how long they were together and the way consistent he was within the relationship. A few people are suspecting their own partners. In this case, conducting a search would offer them peace of mind, which is important to start off a successful and prosperous relationship.
As soon as you have decided to do a public marriage divorce records online search, you need several details. First, you'll be required to type within the date of marriage and the location. Should you do not know where the wedding took place, try to use the place of birth of one of the couple. The wedding is more doubtless to take place inside the state where the couple was born, although that's still probable. Better have a basis for your search than doing all of your investigation without knowing anything.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online - Will There Be A Fee? -
Similarly, if you do not know when the marriage happened, attempt estimating dates based mostly from what you know regarding the person involved. Though succeeding within this form of technique has to do together with a little luck, it'd still be better than having no chance at all. In a few countries and states within the US, marriage records are automatically carried over to websites for convenient search. But, these websites often charge fees for their information.
Public Marriage Divorce Records Online - Conclusion -
Knowing everything regarding the person you're in a relationship with is an crucial component toward marriage. As soon as you have carried out your marital records search on that person, you'll have the ability to understand him better while you're building your family. Certainly it can go along way to putting your mind at rest when you conduct a public marriage divorce records online search.
2012年8月25日星期六
How to Forgive Your Husband After He's Cheated on You
One of the most trying situations you can ever experience is to forgive your husband after he's cheated. This is a situation that no one would like to exchange with you. If you decide to take the forgiving route, you may find that even some of your fellow women ridicule you. Getting the necessary support may be more difficult than you expected.
However, since it is your life that you are dealing with, you will need to make your independent decision about what is best for you. You are in the best position to decide whether you should really forgive your husband. What we are going to share here will only help you to reach a well informed decision on what you decide to do.
Here are some of the reasons why you should consider forgiving your husband.
The toll a break will have
When you have been in a relationship, there are many things you will share in common with your husband, things that you have both worked on together. Turning your back on the things you have worked on together will not be easy and can take quite a heavy toll on you. Consider the ways in which a divorce will affect your life. You may find that a breakup will affect your life in more ways than you initially thought.
Kids
If your marriage has already resulted in children, you will remain with a link that you cannot remove no matter what you do. Consider the ways in which a breakup will affect the innocent kids. The breakup will make them learn about their father's affair, something that will affect them seriously. At least try to salvage your marriage as much as you can before throwing in the towel.
Heartbreak
The way your husband has betrayed you will affect you that much because you still love him. It is true that you may be feeling like strangling him now that you know he's cheated, but deep down, you feel this way because you love him. There is nothing that can excuse his actions, but that is now water under the bridge. You should focus ahead rather than being tied to the past, which you cannot undo anyway. If your husband is prepared to turn a new leaf and work things out, you should at least give him the chance to try.
The potential
Although things appear to be out of control at present, you should not forget the fact that your marriage still has huge potential. As much as your marriage is not perfect, there are still many wonderful possibilities if you forgive your husband after he's cheated on you. You may get closer than you had ever been before, but the decision lies with both of you.
However, since it is your life that you are dealing with, you will need to make your independent decision about what is best for you. You are in the best position to decide whether you should really forgive your husband. What we are going to share here will only help you to reach a well informed decision on what you decide to do.
Here are some of the reasons why you should consider forgiving your husband.
The toll a break will have
When you have been in a relationship, there are many things you will share in common with your husband, things that you have both worked on together. Turning your back on the things you have worked on together will not be easy and can take quite a heavy toll on you. Consider the ways in which a divorce will affect your life. You may find that a breakup will affect your life in more ways than you initially thought.
Kids
If your marriage has already resulted in children, you will remain with a link that you cannot remove no matter what you do. Consider the ways in which a breakup will affect the innocent kids. The breakup will make them learn about their father's affair, something that will affect them seriously. At least try to salvage your marriage as much as you can before throwing in the towel.
Heartbreak
The way your husband has betrayed you will affect you that much because you still love him. It is true that you may be feeling like strangling him now that you know he's cheated, but deep down, you feel this way because you love him. There is nothing that can excuse his actions, but that is now water under the bridge. You should focus ahead rather than being tied to the past, which you cannot undo anyway. If your husband is prepared to turn a new leaf and work things out, you should at least give him the chance to try.
The potential
Although things appear to be out of control at present, you should not forget the fact that your marriage still has huge potential. As much as your marriage is not perfect, there are still many wonderful possibilities if you forgive your husband after he's cheated on you. You may get closer than you had ever been before, but the decision lies with both of you.
Dating for Parents - Knowing the Right Guy
Are you looking for a man at a dating for parents site that can accept you? What qualities are you looking for? What qualities SHOULD you be looking for? Now that you are confident enough to go into Single Parents Dating, it is now time to talk about guys.
To be a couple, you need a man to be a couple with. In short, you really do need someone that you can be the other half of a couple with. Inane reasoning, yes, but still the truth. It takes two to tango and two to make or break a relationship.
So where are we going with all this? This is the focus on your prospect guy. This man might be the soul mate that you are waiting for, and now, Dating for Parents is the tool that would bind the two of you together.
Okay, so the biggest advantage in going online dating at a dating for parents site is that everyone knows what to expect. Most men on that site already know that most of the ladies are single mums, so you won't have to go through the awkward phase of telling your man that you are a single mum.
Now, I'm not saying that the whole coming out with the fact that you have kids is awkward, but one must admit that if you aren't the one who feels awkward with it, then the guy is. Single parents dating service eliminates this, thus you can get past that phase and go on to more important matters such as getting to know each other better.
Alright, so with Single Parents Dating, your guy would know what to expect. He ought to know that you won't be readily available all of the time because you also need to spend time with the kids.
One of the things that can make you say that your guy is a keeper is if he knows when to move forward and when to step back when it comes to his time and the kids. He doesn't whine or coerce you to staying longer with him.
Because you know within yourself that your son's football final game or your daughter's piano recital is more important, your guy should know that too.
And what's more if he already knows and doesn't hold it against you.
And you know what is one more thing that's good with Single Parents Dating? It's the fact that your partner-to-be in Single Parents Dating already know what a keeper you are because they know that you are a single mom. He knows that you are responsible and hard-working, and he would appreciate and treasure you for that.
He knows that you are a sensitive, strong woman who can take the responsibilities of motherhood. And he should also appreciate the fact that you are taking the step to love again.
To be a couple, you need a man to be a couple with. In short, you really do need someone that you can be the other half of a couple with. Inane reasoning, yes, but still the truth. It takes two to tango and two to make or break a relationship.
So where are we going with all this? This is the focus on your prospect guy. This man might be the soul mate that you are waiting for, and now, Dating for Parents is the tool that would bind the two of you together.
Okay, so the biggest advantage in going online dating at a dating for parents site is that everyone knows what to expect. Most men on that site already know that most of the ladies are single mums, so you won't have to go through the awkward phase of telling your man that you are a single mum.
Now, I'm not saying that the whole coming out with the fact that you have kids is awkward, but one must admit that if you aren't the one who feels awkward with it, then the guy is. Single parents dating service eliminates this, thus you can get past that phase and go on to more important matters such as getting to know each other better.
Alright, so with Single Parents Dating, your guy would know what to expect. He ought to know that you won't be readily available all of the time because you also need to spend time with the kids.
One of the things that can make you say that your guy is a keeper is if he knows when to move forward and when to step back when it comes to his time and the kids. He doesn't whine or coerce you to staying longer with him.
Because you know within yourself that your son's football final game or your daughter's piano recital is more important, your guy should know that too.
And what's more if he already knows and doesn't hold it against you.
And you know what is one more thing that's good with Single Parents Dating? It's the fact that your partner-to-be in Single Parents Dating already know what a keeper you are because they know that you are a single mom. He knows that you are responsible and hard-working, and he would appreciate and treasure you for that.
He knows that you are a sensitive, strong woman who can take the responsibilities of motherhood. And he should also appreciate the fact that you are taking the step to love again.
5 Keys to a Successful Soulmate Relationship
In every relationship there comes a time when the mundane routine gets the best of us and it takes a toll on the relationship. Even in soulmate relationships there are times we get bored, and many things about our partner start to irritate us. However, there are various little things you can do to keep the flame lit and get the best out of your relationship.
1.Be silly with your partner.
Being silly is important because it keeps things fun and reminds you not to take yourself or life too seriously. I can’t even begin to tell you how silly my partner and I act with each other. We have cheesy nicknames for each other, we sing ridiculous songs that we make up, and we love to make silly faces. This may sound childish on the surface, but really, in tough times or during an argument, one of us can easily revert to silliness and we are instantly reminded that the argument we are having is just as silly as our songs and faces.
2.Be romantic.
Romance is not dead, contrary to the popular belief. You’d be surprised what the occasional romantic day trip, picnic, or dinner can do for a relationship. When you take time out of your busy schedule to appreciate your relationship, it can work wonders.
3.Be spontaneous.
There is no better way to get your away from your daily routine than doing something unusual to break the pattern. Take an unplanned day trip somewhere, surprise your partner with something (a meal, a small gift), go out on a Tuesday night. Why not?
4.Try different things together.
When you get a day off together, instead of doing what you usually do (whatever that may be), try something completely different. If you usually tend to stay home, then go somewhere. If you always go places, then stay home for some quiet relaxation. If you always stay in the city, try getting out to nature. Play something together you haven’t played before (whether it is a board game or an active sport). The point is, don’t keep doing the exact same things you always do, as the tendency is to get bored. And before you know it, you won’t be bored with the activities - you’ll be bored with your partner.
5.Try different things apart.
This one is crucial. It’s really important to have some separate activities. If you are doing everything with your partner and you get little time apart, again, there comes the tendency to get bored. You know that time when you just start dating – you only see each other a couple of times a week, right? You miss each other. When you start living together, there is usually no more missing each other, because you are together most of the time. So, it’s important to have activities that are just for you, like hobbies, hanging out with girl friends or guy friends, sports or exercise, etc. That way you give each other a chance to miss each other and keep things fresh!
To find out how to find your soulmate, please visit www.thesoulmateguide.com
1.Be silly with your partner.
Being silly is important because it keeps things fun and reminds you not to take yourself or life too seriously. I can’t even begin to tell you how silly my partner and I act with each other. We have cheesy nicknames for each other, we sing ridiculous songs that we make up, and we love to make silly faces. This may sound childish on the surface, but really, in tough times or during an argument, one of us can easily revert to silliness and we are instantly reminded that the argument we are having is just as silly as our songs and faces.
2.Be romantic.
Romance is not dead, contrary to the popular belief. You’d be surprised what the occasional romantic day trip, picnic, or dinner can do for a relationship. When you take time out of your busy schedule to appreciate your relationship, it can work wonders.
3.Be spontaneous.
There is no better way to get your away from your daily routine than doing something unusual to break the pattern. Take an unplanned day trip somewhere, surprise your partner with something (a meal, a small gift), go out on a Tuesday night. Why not?
4.Try different things together.
When you get a day off together, instead of doing what you usually do (whatever that may be), try something completely different. If you usually tend to stay home, then go somewhere. If you always go places, then stay home for some quiet relaxation. If you always stay in the city, try getting out to nature. Play something together you haven’t played before (whether it is a board game or an active sport). The point is, don’t keep doing the exact same things you always do, as the tendency is to get bored. And before you know it, you won’t be bored with the activities - you’ll be bored with your partner.
5.Try different things apart.
This one is crucial. It’s really important to have some separate activities. If you are doing everything with your partner and you get little time apart, again, there comes the tendency to get bored. You know that time when you just start dating – you only see each other a couple of times a week, right? You miss each other. When you start living together, there is usually no more missing each other, because you are together most of the time. So, it’s important to have activities that are just for you, like hobbies, hanging out with girl friends or guy friends, sports or exercise, etc. That way you give each other a chance to miss each other and keep things fresh!
To find out how to find your soulmate, please visit www.thesoulmateguide.com
Is There Need For Saving Our Marriage When He Cheats?
The case of husbands who cheat on their wives is painfully common. When this happens to you, you may wonder whether there is any more reason for saving your marriage. This is a very challenging situation, and answering the question may appear difficult. However, you basically need to consider just one thing in order to determine the right course of action.
Would you fight for your marriage if you knew nothing about his cheating?
This does not mean that you should just enjoy staying in the dark as far as your husband's life is concerned. It is good to know what he is involved in. However, you should let this knowledge empower you instead of working the other way around as is often the case.
Let us go back to the pertinent question. How would you rate your relationship before you found out about his betrayal? Can you honestly say that you had more good times than the low moments? Now that you know that he has been cheating, what has really changed in the relationship? When you look at it objectively, you will see that nothing has really changed in the relationship. What will have changed, however, is your perception.
Cheating is not something that usually happens just in the spur of the moment. There is often a chain of events that lead to the unfortunate event. It is just that you had perhaps not taken a closer look to discover that your husband lacked something in your relationship.
Now that you have finally discovered that he has cheated, you will need to make some important decisions. If you take a look back at your marriage, you may discover that you were actually better off than many people. Although you faced some tough times, you may realize that you were largely a happy couple until the time that you discovered about the affair.
Here are some of the things you need to bear in mind when you want to find out whether there is need for saving your marriage.
Love is not simply switched off
The fact that your husband cheated on you does not really mean that he had stopped loving you. Do not be surprised to find out that his affair did not have anything to do with how he feels about you. What it means is that he had some need that was not quite fulfilled, which was what he sought. Love is not something to be switched off in an instant.
It could have just been a passing moment
When you discover that your husband has cheated on you, it will not necessarily mean that he has started another relationship at all. Perhaps it was a one-off thing for him, something that he never expected you to find out. May be he just wanted to fulfill a need but went too far before he realized his mistake.
His affair does not need to define the relationship you have
This is unless you let it have such powers. It is just you and your husband who can chart the course of your relationship. You do not have to let the affair drive a wedge between you so that you change your perception of happiness.
Would you fight for your marriage if you knew nothing about his cheating?
This does not mean that you should just enjoy staying in the dark as far as your husband's life is concerned. It is good to know what he is involved in. However, you should let this knowledge empower you instead of working the other way around as is often the case.
Let us go back to the pertinent question. How would you rate your relationship before you found out about his betrayal? Can you honestly say that you had more good times than the low moments? Now that you know that he has been cheating, what has really changed in the relationship? When you look at it objectively, you will see that nothing has really changed in the relationship. What will have changed, however, is your perception.
Cheating is not something that usually happens just in the spur of the moment. There is often a chain of events that lead to the unfortunate event. It is just that you had perhaps not taken a closer look to discover that your husband lacked something in your relationship.
Now that you have finally discovered that he has cheated, you will need to make some important decisions. If you take a look back at your marriage, you may discover that you were actually better off than many people. Although you faced some tough times, you may realize that you were largely a happy couple until the time that you discovered about the affair.
Here are some of the things you need to bear in mind when you want to find out whether there is need for saving your marriage.
Love is not simply switched off
The fact that your husband cheated on you does not really mean that he had stopped loving you. Do not be surprised to find out that his affair did not have anything to do with how he feels about you. What it means is that he had some need that was not quite fulfilled, which was what he sought. Love is not something to be switched off in an instant.
It could have just been a passing moment
When you discover that your husband has cheated on you, it will not necessarily mean that he has started another relationship at all. Perhaps it was a one-off thing for him, something that he never expected you to find out. May be he just wanted to fulfill a need but went too far before he realized his mistake.
His affair does not need to define the relationship you have
This is unless you let it have such powers. It is just you and your husband who can chart the course of your relationship. You do not have to let the affair drive a wedge between you so that you change your perception of happiness.
2012年8月24日星期五
7 Habits Of A Highly Happy Couple
Have you ever seen those couples that you thought are attached at the hip? Those who can’t seem to get their hands and eyes off each other? Couples that make you gag, roll your eyes at or look at them with envy? That, even if you know your relationship is doing okay; it makes you wonder what they have that you don’t? They make you wonder what makes them a genuinely happy couple.
Well, wonder no more, I am going to share with you the 7 best things happy couples do. If you want to be in the happy couple’s club, try doing the following: One, have a pressure free relationship. Impossible? Not at all. If you understand each other and let go of your own irrational and selfish issues, then having a stress-free union is easy to achieve.
Rachel, 25 years old shares her story. “With my previous relationship, I called everything off- my gym sessions, my dance club and my girl’s night out just to be with him. It was okay for a couple of months but eventually, we were at each other’s throats. The demands were just so intense that we called it quits.
So when I started dating this new guy, now my boyfriend, we agreed to have personal time for ourselves where he can play basketball while I do my shopping or attend yoga class. With that, our relationship became more exciting. We miss each other all the time and surprise each other more.
It made me a more fun and loving girlfriend!” Two, to be a happy couple, you should have your own tradition or custom. Sharing your own little rituals identify you as a duo. This creates a feeling of belongingness and uniqueness to other couples. Three, never ever take each other for granted.
When you are dating or in a relationship with someone for a long time it doesn’t mean that you don’t need to be romantic anymore. Why don’t you try being intimate while doing the most mundane things. Four, loosen- up and have fun together. A happy couple doesn’t mind showing their goofy or mushiest side to each other.
Recalling funny and corny moments actually helps couple when their relationship is in trouble. Five, to be a happy couple, give passionate kisses. Never underestimate the power of mouth to mouth smooching. Kissing passionately keeps your relationship tight and fiery. Instead of giving a soft peck at the lips before going to work, why not try French kissing? You’ll be amaze how lively you’ll feel afterwards.
Six, when having a disagreement, fight not to win but to resolve. A happy couple argues about the solution, not on making each other feel bad. Seven, a happy couple respect each other no matter what. That says it all. With respect come trust, honesty and loyalty. So there you are my endearing lovers, the 7 best things happy couples do.
Good luck!
Well, wonder no more, I am going to share with you the 7 best things happy couples do. If you want to be in the happy couple’s club, try doing the following: One, have a pressure free relationship. Impossible? Not at all. If you understand each other and let go of your own irrational and selfish issues, then having a stress-free union is easy to achieve.
Rachel, 25 years old shares her story. “With my previous relationship, I called everything off- my gym sessions, my dance club and my girl’s night out just to be with him. It was okay for a couple of months but eventually, we were at each other’s throats. The demands were just so intense that we called it quits.
So when I started dating this new guy, now my boyfriend, we agreed to have personal time for ourselves where he can play basketball while I do my shopping or attend yoga class. With that, our relationship became more exciting. We miss each other all the time and surprise each other more.
It made me a more fun and loving girlfriend!” Two, to be a happy couple, you should have your own tradition or custom. Sharing your own little rituals identify you as a duo. This creates a feeling of belongingness and uniqueness to other couples. Three, never ever take each other for granted.
When you are dating or in a relationship with someone for a long time it doesn’t mean that you don’t need to be romantic anymore. Why don’t you try being intimate while doing the most mundane things. Four, loosen- up and have fun together. A happy couple doesn’t mind showing their goofy or mushiest side to each other.
Recalling funny and corny moments actually helps couple when their relationship is in trouble. Five, to be a happy couple, give passionate kisses. Never underestimate the power of mouth to mouth smooching. Kissing passionately keeps your relationship tight and fiery. Instead of giving a soft peck at the lips before going to work, why not try French kissing? You’ll be amaze how lively you’ll feel afterwards.
Six, when having a disagreement, fight not to win but to resolve. A happy couple argues about the solution, not on making each other feel bad. Seven, a happy couple respect each other no matter what. That says it all. With respect come trust, honesty and loyalty. So there you are my endearing lovers, the 7 best things happy couples do.
Good luck!
How to Date – Back to Basics
Hey Dr. Dennis – Hi and thank you for your help!
I am single and I have been for 2 years. I’m a 30-year old woman with 2 part-time kids. I am attractive (though somewhat overweight), intelligent and I like to think I'm good company.
Recently, I have had some pretty bad luck in re-entering the dating scene. I've been stood up a couple of times, met a man who did nothing but play games with me, met another man who just took off and stopped talking to me, met another man who fell in love with me way too fast and I just want to be friends with, have had many, many emails messages through a singles site that are ignored or they will just stop talking to me with no explanation or reason, and I even joined a few Meetup groups (Meetup.com) in the area and have been putting myself out there but I just can't seem to meet anyone who is genuine and good. In fact mostly what I've encountered is very negative and discouraging.
I'm also not very good at reading people so that makes things a little more difficult, and I'm not the most social person.
I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me, or if this is typical of the dating game. I'm very saddened by everything that has transpired and I'm discouraged and distraught. I'm wonder if you have any insight on this, any tips I could try, etc., I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you!
Hello!
It seems that the single common denominator in all of this is you. Yes, I can tell you very likely what the problem is since the symptomatology is so clear and specific.
First of all, let's do a little inventory, shall we? This is a little painful, but trust me, it's very important so that we have a place to start.
You have two kids and you're a single mother. You're overweight and I'm going to bet you've met at least some of these guys (if not most of them) on the internet. You're probably also using some VERY outdated dating methodologies (I'll get more into this in a minute), and there are probably a bunch of other things going on here I don't yet know. I'll bet you also have some pretty high - and maybe somewhat unreasonable - expectations for the men you date.
Here's the reality: both men and women have something of a "point system" they have to address when they consider dating. Frankly, very few people do that. They decide what they want and simply hope for it to happen. When it doesn't, they look around and wonder why. Worse yet, they never even consider what THEY bring to the table to see if it's even a match for the guys they want to date!
Let's say that you live in a big city; which considering that you're involved with Meetup, I'll bet is true. Big cities create big competition. You have MANY other girls competing for the same "male real estate" that you are. Many of these girls are in shape and may not have kids, are younger and may even be better partners or have better dating/relationship skills than you have.
I'll be the first to tell you that while this is unfair, it's simply the way things are. These issues are significant problems for any single woman in the dating market! Your looks, your availability, your skill sets, and even your age are all your "dating currency". Men look at these things and decide whether or not you're someone on the playing field or not and whether you're short-term material or long-term material. Don't feel too bad however; men have their own "point system" to reach as well.
Knowing (and accepting) this will help you to maximize your ability to market to the "right" guys!
There's another thing at play here you need to understand:
MOST women today are using the wrong play book when it comes to dating. In fact, they are using the same one their mothers and grandmothers used to be successful. The problem is, it's a new millennium with new rules. The old techniques simply no longer work anymore. In fact, they work against you and the very symptoms you described are the same ones I see when women use these worn-out tools.
Obviously this is a very large discussion, so let's go back to basics:
* Your look is one of the most important tools you have in dating. Maximize it! Get in shape and drop the weight. Make sure your hair is "date ready", and by that I mean, no short haircuts! Style magazines tell you these look good - they don't. The vast majority of guys want girls that look like girls - not boys. Thus, grow your hair out - and no wacky colors. Check your make-up and wardrobe and update it if you need to. Another problem with being a mom is that you've likely not kept up with these things.
* You girls continue to propagate the myths that playing "hard to get" gives you value in men's eyes. No, it doesn't. That is a hold-over from a long-gone age! In fact, most guys today don't even understand this game and simply see it as rude and inept. Are you looking to date only rude guys? Of course not - neither are men. Your availability is extremely important! This is one reason why having kids works so hard against you in the dating world. Likewise, not picking up the phone, not returning phone calls, cancelling dates at the last minute and any of the 1001 other little games some of you girls play kills off modern, potential relationships! You've got to be available to the guys you want to date or they'll simply go find someone that IS available - and smarter. Think about this: my readers understand these facts and usually have 2-3 or more phone numbers they're working at any one time. If you don't pick up the phone or return the phone call, guess who gets the date? The next girl in line! Guess who gets the relationship? Yep - same one.
* Don't try to date via technology! This doesn't work either! Texting and email (for example) KILLS relationships! Especially if you're using dating sites, you've got to get to that in-person meeting right away! I'm talking days here - NOT weeks and especially, not multiple emails! If the guy can't/won't or doesn't know he should do this, YOU have to move this into in-person immediately! You don't want him getting impressions of you at a distance that you can never live up to! These form VERY quickly. Don't let them.
* Don't try to hold off sex thinking that makes the relationship better - it doesn't. That is simply artificial manipulation of the relationship that is supposed to be moving forward. I'm not saying to get to it before you're ready, but don't hold it off. Men use sex early on very differently from women. Whereas you use it to bond and creating intimacy, men use it to determine if we WANT TO bond and create intimacy with you! Soon however, that window of opportunity closes and we realize we'll never have that emotional connection with you. We'll still have sex with you, but you'll never have access to our hearts.
* Change your "standards". I'm not saying to date just anyone, but you; like far too many girls in your situation have standards that your own dating currency likely can't afford. You have too many wants and expectations without the ability to return value. Further, if a guy makes even a small mistake, you're ready to cut him loose and move on. That's not good dating strategy. You need to cultivate relationships, not have some perfect, unobtainable one right out of the box.
* Learn how to approach guys yourself and how to set-up dates! Give back to the dating process too! For instance, if you've been out with a guy a couple of times, it's a good idea to invite him over for a meal and some wine or out for something fun. Guys don't want to have to be the only ones investing - nor do you. Guys will quickly lose interest if they don't see something coming back. On the other hand, guys will hang in there far longer than they should or otherwise would if they do!
* Clearly separate dating from friendship. Don't mix the two or throw mixed signals.
* Check your attitude at the door. No guy wants to be around some girl that is judgmental, obnoxious, mean, hateful or angry. We want - and in fact, NEED - to be around women that are sweet, engaged, fun and interesting.
I've given you a lot to think about here. These are the basics and everything builds from there.
Best regards...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv. Follow me on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/cas4w9) and Twitter (http://tinyurl.com/d3pecs).
Copyright (c) 2010, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
I am single and I have been for 2 years. I’m a 30-year old woman with 2 part-time kids. I am attractive (though somewhat overweight), intelligent and I like to think I'm good company.
Recently, I have had some pretty bad luck in re-entering the dating scene. I've been stood up a couple of times, met a man who did nothing but play games with me, met another man who just took off and stopped talking to me, met another man who fell in love with me way too fast and I just want to be friends with, have had many, many emails messages through a singles site that are ignored or they will just stop talking to me with no explanation or reason, and I even joined a few Meetup groups (Meetup.com) in the area and have been putting myself out there but I just can't seem to meet anyone who is genuine and good. In fact mostly what I've encountered is very negative and discouraging.
I'm also not very good at reading people so that makes things a little more difficult, and I'm not the most social person.
I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me, or if this is typical of the dating game. I'm very saddened by everything that has transpired and I'm discouraged and distraught. I'm wonder if you have any insight on this, any tips I could try, etc., I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you!
Hello!
It seems that the single common denominator in all of this is you. Yes, I can tell you very likely what the problem is since the symptomatology is so clear and specific.
First of all, let's do a little inventory, shall we? This is a little painful, but trust me, it's very important so that we have a place to start.
You have two kids and you're a single mother. You're overweight and I'm going to bet you've met at least some of these guys (if not most of them) on the internet. You're probably also using some VERY outdated dating methodologies (I'll get more into this in a minute), and there are probably a bunch of other things going on here I don't yet know. I'll bet you also have some pretty high - and maybe somewhat unreasonable - expectations for the men you date.
Here's the reality: both men and women have something of a "point system" they have to address when they consider dating. Frankly, very few people do that. They decide what they want and simply hope for it to happen. When it doesn't, they look around and wonder why. Worse yet, they never even consider what THEY bring to the table to see if it's even a match for the guys they want to date!
Let's say that you live in a big city; which considering that you're involved with Meetup, I'll bet is true. Big cities create big competition. You have MANY other girls competing for the same "male real estate" that you are. Many of these girls are in shape and may not have kids, are younger and may even be better partners or have better dating/relationship skills than you have.
I'll be the first to tell you that while this is unfair, it's simply the way things are. These issues are significant problems for any single woman in the dating market! Your looks, your availability, your skill sets, and even your age are all your "dating currency". Men look at these things and decide whether or not you're someone on the playing field or not and whether you're short-term material or long-term material. Don't feel too bad however; men have their own "point system" to reach as well.
Knowing (and accepting) this will help you to maximize your ability to market to the "right" guys!
There's another thing at play here you need to understand:
MOST women today are using the wrong play book when it comes to dating. In fact, they are using the same one their mothers and grandmothers used to be successful. The problem is, it's a new millennium with new rules. The old techniques simply no longer work anymore. In fact, they work against you and the very symptoms you described are the same ones I see when women use these worn-out tools.
Obviously this is a very large discussion, so let's go back to basics:
* Your look is one of the most important tools you have in dating. Maximize it! Get in shape and drop the weight. Make sure your hair is "date ready", and by that I mean, no short haircuts! Style magazines tell you these look good - they don't. The vast majority of guys want girls that look like girls - not boys. Thus, grow your hair out - and no wacky colors. Check your make-up and wardrobe and update it if you need to. Another problem with being a mom is that you've likely not kept up with these things.
* You girls continue to propagate the myths that playing "hard to get" gives you value in men's eyes. No, it doesn't. That is a hold-over from a long-gone age! In fact, most guys today don't even understand this game and simply see it as rude and inept. Are you looking to date only rude guys? Of course not - neither are men. Your availability is extremely important! This is one reason why having kids works so hard against you in the dating world. Likewise, not picking up the phone, not returning phone calls, cancelling dates at the last minute and any of the 1001 other little games some of you girls play kills off modern, potential relationships! You've got to be available to the guys you want to date or they'll simply go find someone that IS available - and smarter. Think about this: my readers understand these facts and usually have 2-3 or more phone numbers they're working at any one time. If you don't pick up the phone or return the phone call, guess who gets the date? The next girl in line! Guess who gets the relationship? Yep - same one.
* Don't try to date via technology! This doesn't work either! Texting and email (for example) KILLS relationships! Especially if you're using dating sites, you've got to get to that in-person meeting right away! I'm talking days here - NOT weeks and especially, not multiple emails! If the guy can't/won't or doesn't know he should do this, YOU have to move this into in-person immediately! You don't want him getting impressions of you at a distance that you can never live up to! These form VERY quickly. Don't let them.
* Don't try to hold off sex thinking that makes the relationship better - it doesn't. That is simply artificial manipulation of the relationship that is supposed to be moving forward. I'm not saying to get to it before you're ready, but don't hold it off. Men use sex early on very differently from women. Whereas you use it to bond and creating intimacy, men use it to determine if we WANT TO bond and create intimacy with you! Soon however, that window of opportunity closes and we realize we'll never have that emotional connection with you. We'll still have sex with you, but you'll never have access to our hearts.
* Change your "standards". I'm not saying to date just anyone, but you; like far too many girls in your situation have standards that your own dating currency likely can't afford. You have too many wants and expectations without the ability to return value. Further, if a guy makes even a small mistake, you're ready to cut him loose and move on. That's not good dating strategy. You need to cultivate relationships, not have some perfect, unobtainable one right out of the box.
* Learn how to approach guys yourself and how to set-up dates! Give back to the dating process too! For instance, if you've been out with a guy a couple of times, it's a good idea to invite him over for a meal and some wine or out for something fun. Guys don't want to have to be the only ones investing - nor do you. Guys will quickly lose interest if they don't see something coming back. On the other hand, guys will hang in there far longer than they should or otherwise would if they do!
* Clearly separate dating from friendship. Don't mix the two or throw mixed signals.
* Check your attitude at the door. No guy wants to be around some girl that is judgmental, obnoxious, mean, hateful or angry. We want - and in fact, NEED - to be around women that are sweet, engaged, fun and interesting.
I've given you a lot to think about here. These are the basics and everything builds from there.
Best regards...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv. Follow me on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/cas4w9) and Twitter (http://tinyurl.com/d3pecs).
Copyright (c) 2010, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
Help Your Man: How to Drive Away His Commitment Phobia
Your Man - How to Drive Away His Commitment Phobia
How to drive away his commitment phobia? This is very easy if you understand your guy very well. Today, many women who have relationships with men who show no interest at all and who are not at all emotional but they love you and you love them. If you are a woman who got stuck into such relationship then you do not have to worry because such men do exist and in fact, these men are ready to say yes to your commitment proposal. However, it is not that easy to make any man commit, especially for marriage.
Some men are scared of commitments and this phobia or fear is widely known as the commitment phobia and many women wonder how to drive away his commitment phobia? They even appear to be isolated and are not at all interested in their love life. However, they are very much active in bed. These men probably are in love with your body and figure rather than you as a whole. For these men, love does not matter. They are lusty and you have to make the ultimate decision, when you are sure.
So, how do you think you can make your man fall in love with you even when you lure him for commitment? It is simple! First, you have to understand the psyche of your man and then what he likes and dislikes. Women have strange power of ruling men’s heart and mind. It is said that women have the power to melt the stones. So, if your man is like a stone, you can unleash your charm and with your charismatic allure, you can tame him and make him your slave. For this, you have to be special.
Everything is on you and you have to make him believe that you are not like other women who are common and simple. You have the power, the ultimate valor and this, you have to prove him. When you do this, he will understand the importance of being with you. He needs your help and it is up to you to make him bow and kneel down on his knees by kissing your hand and propose you. You have the secret of winning him and his control. Do not let yourself lose this war and you can help him by understanding how to drive away his commitment phobia.
How to drive away his commitment phobia? This is very easy if you understand your guy very well. Today, many women who have relationships with men who show no interest at all and who are not at all emotional but they love you and you love them. If you are a woman who got stuck into such relationship then you do not have to worry because such men do exist and in fact, these men are ready to say yes to your commitment proposal. However, it is not that easy to make any man commit, especially for marriage.
Some men are scared of commitments and this phobia or fear is widely known as the commitment phobia and many women wonder how to drive away his commitment phobia? They even appear to be isolated and are not at all interested in their love life. However, they are very much active in bed. These men probably are in love with your body and figure rather than you as a whole. For these men, love does not matter. They are lusty and you have to make the ultimate decision, when you are sure.
So, how do you think you can make your man fall in love with you even when you lure him for commitment? It is simple! First, you have to understand the psyche of your man and then what he likes and dislikes. Women have strange power of ruling men’s heart and mind. It is said that women have the power to melt the stones. So, if your man is like a stone, you can unleash your charm and with your charismatic allure, you can tame him and make him your slave. For this, you have to be special.
Everything is on you and you have to make him believe that you are not like other women who are common and simple. You have the power, the ultimate valor and this, you have to prove him. When you do this, he will understand the importance of being with you. He needs your help and it is up to you to make him bow and kneel down on his knees by kissing your hand and propose you. You have the secret of winning him and his control. Do not let yourself lose this war and you can help him by understanding how to drive away his commitment phobia.
Are Internet Affairs cheating?
The advancement of Information Technology has made it very easy for people from different parts of the world to communicate easily. This has brought about many new things, among of which are Internet affairs. There are arguments and counter-arguments about whether these online affairs amount to cheating or not.
The answer to this question is not really as challenging as it appears. If the Internet affairs seem to consume so much time that the partners hardly have time for each other, then there is no doubt that cheating is involved. The fact that Internet affairs are 'discovered' indicates that they were meant to be secret. How innocent is it if partners seem to want to hide their online affairs from each other? If you are the one involved in online affairs and you would like your partner to discover what is happening, this in itself indicates that you are actually cheating.
While there used to be clear-cut rules about what constituted cheating in the past, the changes in the way people communicate has changed the situation. However, this does not mean that it is difficult to determine when things are crossing the line. When Internet affairs involve sexual tones and the people involved would not like their partners to know about them, then they are certainly cheating. It is not just a full blown affair that is damaging - emotional betrayal is just as damaging.
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to Internet affairs, and you will be able to draw your own conclusions. One of the things that will help you to reach your decision is how you feel about the online affairs. In case it does not feel right to you then it is cheating and you should not let it go on. The partners engaged in Internet affairs will also know that they are cheating even if they do not tell anyone.
The answer to this question is not really as challenging as it appears. If the Internet affairs seem to consume so much time that the partners hardly have time for each other, then there is no doubt that cheating is involved. The fact that Internet affairs are 'discovered' indicates that they were meant to be secret. How innocent is it if partners seem to want to hide their online affairs from each other? If you are the one involved in online affairs and you would like your partner to discover what is happening, this in itself indicates that you are actually cheating.
While there used to be clear-cut rules about what constituted cheating in the past, the changes in the way people communicate has changed the situation. However, this does not mean that it is difficult to determine when things are crossing the line. When Internet affairs involve sexual tones and the people involved would not like their partners to know about them, then they are certainly cheating. It is not just a full blown affair that is damaging - emotional betrayal is just as damaging.
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to Internet affairs, and you will be able to draw your own conclusions. One of the things that will help you to reach your decision is how you feel about the online affairs. In case it does not feel right to you then it is cheating and you should not let it go on. The partners engaged in Internet affairs will also know that they are cheating even if they do not tell anyone.
2012年8月23日星期四
5 Ways to Find Out If Your Partner Is Cheating On You
When you start suspecting that your partner might be cheating on you, you will look everywhere for the clues to confirm your fears. Below are the 5 ways to find out if your partner is cheating on you.
• The change in body language
Although your partner will say that he/she is not cheating on you, you can determine the truth by taking a closer look at his/her body language. When you confront your partner with cheating allegations, he/ she will try very hard to avoid eye contact when answering you. No cheater is happy with what he/she is doing, and that is why the guilt he/she feels cannot allow him/her to look you in the eye and lie to you after the period you have been together. At the same time, listen carefully to the tone of his/her voice. He/she will be very angry and defensive every time you confront him/her and at times your partner will try as hard as he/she can to avoid answering your questions directly.
• Your partner will receive mysterious calls
The way your partner uses the phone will also help you to know that something is going on behind your back. In this case, your partner will become so secretive that he/she might not allow you to touch his/her phone. When your partner is free, all he/she does is write messages as well receiving calls from people he/she will call friends though you had never heard of them earlier. If your partner leaves the phone behind and you happen to answer it, the caller suddenly hangs up, and your partner will start guarding his/her phone so that you never touch it or know its contents because they know it’s a concrete evidence of their affair.
• Sudden change in sexual behaviors
This is another of the 5 ways to find out if your partner is cheating on you. There may be a big reduction in the times you will have sex with your partner. Many times cheating partners will come with all kinds of excuses to avoid being intimate with you. He might have it once in a while just to remove your doubts, but if you are keen, you will discover that things are not the same. Alternatively, your partner may keep asking for new styles almost every time.
• Evidence
When your partner starts cheating on you, there are many things that you will look out for to discover that it is true. He will always come home late claiming he was hanging out with friends, all you need to is to look at and sniff his/her clothes. There are chances that he/she carried the lover's scent. Try to identify any suspicious smell that you have not had for some time, like cigarette smell if he/she is not a smoker.
• Change in behavior and becoming workaholic
If your partner is cheating on you, he will make up excuses to come home late and will become busy all over a sudden. He may even spend a night out claiming to have had a lot of work at the office.
A cheating partner will start forgetting important events in your life like your birthdays. In addition, he will develop a resentful attitude such that whenever you have an argument, he will walk out on you without finding a solution.
• The change in body language
Although your partner will say that he/she is not cheating on you, you can determine the truth by taking a closer look at his/her body language. When you confront your partner with cheating allegations, he/ she will try very hard to avoid eye contact when answering you. No cheater is happy with what he/she is doing, and that is why the guilt he/she feels cannot allow him/her to look you in the eye and lie to you after the period you have been together. At the same time, listen carefully to the tone of his/her voice. He/she will be very angry and defensive every time you confront him/her and at times your partner will try as hard as he/she can to avoid answering your questions directly.
• Your partner will receive mysterious calls
The way your partner uses the phone will also help you to know that something is going on behind your back. In this case, your partner will become so secretive that he/she might not allow you to touch his/her phone. When your partner is free, all he/she does is write messages as well receiving calls from people he/she will call friends though you had never heard of them earlier. If your partner leaves the phone behind and you happen to answer it, the caller suddenly hangs up, and your partner will start guarding his/her phone so that you never touch it or know its contents because they know it’s a concrete evidence of their affair.
• Sudden change in sexual behaviors
This is another of the 5 ways to find out if your partner is cheating on you. There may be a big reduction in the times you will have sex with your partner. Many times cheating partners will come with all kinds of excuses to avoid being intimate with you. He might have it once in a while just to remove your doubts, but if you are keen, you will discover that things are not the same. Alternatively, your partner may keep asking for new styles almost every time.
• Evidence
When your partner starts cheating on you, there are many things that you will look out for to discover that it is true. He will always come home late claiming he was hanging out with friends, all you need to is to look at and sniff his/her clothes. There are chances that he/she carried the lover's scent. Try to identify any suspicious smell that you have not had for some time, like cigarette smell if he/she is not a smoker.
• Change in behavior and becoming workaholic
If your partner is cheating on you, he will make up excuses to come home late and will become busy all over a sudden. He may even spend a night out claiming to have had a lot of work at the office.
A cheating partner will start forgetting important events in your life like your birthdays. In addition, he will develop a resentful attitude such that whenever you have an argument, he will walk out on you without finding a solution.
Signs Your Husband Doesn't Want You Anymore – Advice for Women
There are very few people who would not like to get married. Unfortunately, the bliss sought after is often quite elusive. Many couples will try to do the impossible to make sure that there are no obstacles that will see the end to their marriage, but it can be very challenging if you want to make him change his mind if he is no longer interested in you. Being rejected by your own husband is a bitter pill to swallow because it means you do not make him as happy as you used to. It will be very painful if you are interested in saving your relationship yet your husband does not appear to be interested in anything you do.
Working “overtime”
There are many signs your husband doesn't want you anymore, and among them is when he doesn’t want to spend most of his time with you. He may now be busy working almost throughout while he used to come home early to spend time with you.
With his numerous excuses, you will believe that your husband will still come back to you, but the reason why he is doing this is to blind you and keep you from the truth for as long as he can. You should therefore find the truth yourself by knowing signs your husband doesn't want you anymore.
Lack of interest
Another sign that your husband no longer wants you is when he is ignoring what you feel or your life in general. He might come from work but he will never ask how your day has been or how you are doing. You might be sick but he does not notice it because he is not interested in anything about you.
If there is sudden reduced urge to be involved with you sexually then this is one of the signs your husband doesn't want you anymore. Although he may fulfil his duties once in a while, his mind will clearly be elsewhere. You will notice that he is not emotionally connected to you.
You are in the best position to determine if your husband does not show as much interest in you as he used to. Just compare how he acts now with how he used to treat you before. If there is a lot of difference then the sign is in front of you.
The above signs your husband doesn't want you anymore are the most common ones that every woman should look out for to put things under control earlier rather than later. If you discover the above signs early enough, do all you can to reverse the situation before it exceeds the limit, the probability of having a divorce is high.
Working “overtime”
There are many signs your husband doesn't want you anymore, and among them is when he doesn’t want to spend most of his time with you. He may now be busy working almost throughout while he used to come home early to spend time with you.
With his numerous excuses, you will believe that your husband will still come back to you, but the reason why he is doing this is to blind you and keep you from the truth for as long as he can. You should therefore find the truth yourself by knowing signs your husband doesn't want you anymore.
Lack of interest
Another sign that your husband no longer wants you is when he is ignoring what you feel or your life in general. He might come from work but he will never ask how your day has been or how you are doing. You might be sick but he does not notice it because he is not interested in anything about you.
If there is sudden reduced urge to be involved with you sexually then this is one of the signs your husband doesn't want you anymore. Although he may fulfil his duties once in a while, his mind will clearly be elsewhere. You will notice that he is not emotionally connected to you.
You are in the best position to determine if your husband does not show as much interest in you as he used to. Just compare how he acts now with how he used to treat you before. If there is a lot of difference then the sign is in front of you.
The above signs your husband doesn't want you anymore are the most common ones that every woman should look out for to put things under control earlier rather than later. If you discover the above signs early enough, do all you can to reverse the situation before it exceeds the limit, the probability of having a divorce is high.
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